Thursday, January 31, 2008

Critics Segment - Part 1

I wanted to compile all the compliments/criticism till date, and obviously all the justified ones ;o). And I guess here is the day to see it all.

Ummm starting from my childhood, I had got lot of thrashing from my parents regarding studies. I was always contrasted with my extra brilliant sister. I used to get loads of comments from my teachers like… “Learn from your sister…”, “How come you both are siblings?”, “Don’t tell me you are Shazia’s brother…” So these were some of the hit comments. My parents also used to get very annoyed and then also used to add to the comments database. Sounds like a horrible childhood but it wasn’t, I agree I wasn’t too serious with studies.
I used to play a lot, and did fairly well there but never participated in any formal tournament. I was crazy for cricket, whether it was watching or playing. I used to maintain statistics of all Indian players back in my school days. And not surprisingly my folks used to hate my eccentricity.

With time my interest towards Computer Sc and Mathematics increased, and I got some respect there for change ;o) Then gradually I picked up in studies and got the taste of favoritism in my post grad. It did used to make me feel content.

I came to Bangalore and joined CareerNet. I never got any compliment from anybody formally, but I always found a special place in everyone’s heart. I went to L&T for 9.5 months. That place never matched my insights and attitude. People were dull there; one of the colleagues said publicly that “You are too active...”, it took time for me to really understand what exactly he meant by that. But there were people who liked my technical skills and my vocal attitude. I got a lot of respect there as well.

I was back in CareerNet and my CEO once said “I have less to worry, as Wali is back…” I knew I was a novice technology person back then. I got introduced to one of the finest character I have seen and that’s LN (Lakshmi Narayan, now VP in SAP Labs). He is my idol for sure, that guy had a huge experience in everything and is still so down to earth. I have learnt a lot from him and probably still learning a lot. Well everybody in our team waited to hear at least one satisfactory remark. But he always used to find some design issues. Each one of us very glad to see the things from his eyes, cuz it was unique and next to perfect. Few months back he commented on the product that “Now people can spend money to use the product…” This means a lot to me personally, as each one of us here has given everything or I guess more than everything they possess for this product.

I completed 3 years in CareerNet and was felicitated few months back. Well it’s always a proud moment to be in such occasions. There was a lot of fun on the stage, as Pashu (pati) referred me in this company so was cracking few jokes… Anshu (man) then said one sentence “If I had to choose one guy he trusts the most, it would be me…, and he is the guy of ethics…”, that’s the biggest earning I have had in my life I guess.

So this shall end the professional critics segment. I never carry the praise for long, cuz I know it has already happened and now I have to achieve something new. I am too hungry to achieve things and I just hope I just stay the same forever.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Am I Arrogant or Provokingly Abrasive or Casually Rough?

On Sunday was having a deep conversation with my sister, and she told me that am little arrogant. It gave me a jolt, but after a lot of thought I concluded that the manner in which I present things may not be always well perceived. It’s ludicrous but still I will relate it with my sun sign :o) Saggi's are blunt and lack diplomacy. I have seen a lot of ups and downs in life, and have worked very hard for all that I have got. I will surely consider myself lucky that all my hard work was noticed and rewarded. I hate certain things in life and I will always do it no matter what therefore I tend to get harsh on those subjects, and yeah can also get rude on occasions. The emotion behind the cause is very strong and sincere feeling on that issue, but the presentation is not apt at times.

Usually am very patient in explaining things but sometimes when the other person is talking some crap and not even ready to listen that’s one situation I get impatient and might get abrasive. So I will categorize this act of mine under provokingly abrasive.

In a different scenario, when someone is inquisitive about my current work and remuneration or my future plans or my dreams I tend to be very true. Am very aggressive and I wanna set high standards for myself. I know not everyone is like that, and if I share those thoughts with them they will look down on themselves or they shall feel am in air. I don’t care if someone thinks am in air, cuz that’s not true. If someone looks down on himself it’s his/her problem and that person have to deal with it. Well I also feel that sometimes my idea of motivating results as a negative impact as people might take it as a lot of expectation may be cuz they lack belief in themselves. I shall categorize this act as casually rough, what I can do to prevent some ugly situation is while expressing my ideas I should be very careful about the person am talking to.

Major problem with my attitude is I speak my mind whether I talk to a stranger or a friend. I believe sometimes one has to be very polished. What best i can do is I shall try to be more careful when I express my views over any subject in public.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Zip Trip!

On 27th had a flying visit to Delhi to attend a wedding, and gosh it was hectic or may be hectic is less explanatory. Not surprisingly I suffered from cold and fatigue after I was back to my home [Bangalore :o)].

Ok back to Trip, I was very excited for the whole visit as I was supposed to meet my sis, cousins and some family friends. It turned out to be an eye opener for me and got to know many things about myself. Some of them were, "Have changed a lot...", "Am arrogant...", "I can demoralize people", "I can give complex to people...", "I still hate people who believe in pomp 'n' show", "I still cant acclimatize to a noisy event". I would require separate posts to cover each one of it, would try to do it as soon as I can.

I spent bulk of the time with my sister and had long discussion over marriage and future. I am glad that am so close to my sister and have gone through so much that can at least help someone. Well my sister has seen a lot of world I guess but still there are topics which need different perspective/angle.

I love the relation we share and hope that it remains forever.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Happily Confused?

My life has always been pretty interesting. Confusion, Complexity, Uncertainty, Irrationality, Illogicality, Thrills… these are some of the flavors of my life. It’s a vague thought of mine that every person’s life has a pattern. May be I think a lot, or I analyze my life a lot… I love to talk to people and try to understand things from their perspective; in the process I have become too accommodating. Now am on the verge of concluding that it’s a quality no more.

Pattern of my life is pretty obvious now; I dun get one problem at a time. It’s like attending to innumerable problems in one go and none of them will have margin to err. I can’t crib about those situations as I end up learning the most from them. I have to fight with pain, anguish, anxiety, restlessness, irritation and few more reactive measures which most of the times add up to the problem.

There are some situations of my life which keeps on repeating and I hate them for sure. Whenever I badly need something or I am short of something in my personal life I will be getting that in abundance suddenly but for a period and that shall vanish leaving some pretty moments and memory. I don’t know relating everything with past is the smartest thing or not, but it’s quite natural for anyone to do and I am no different. So it gets confusing for me in that period, I have to take a call on whether to hold that moment or fight hard and make the pattern change.

I have a huge circle but I am a miser when it comes to spend my precious time with someone. I will always prefer to be alone and do something that I want rather than going out for a party. And if I m with my love I will still prefer to be at a quiet place and talk rather than being at a loud public place. Ummm I m ignoring the shopping time which I simply enjoy :0).

I have no boundaries of love at all; I tend to give everything I have which is gradual process for sure. I know that’s not wise at all but it’s too tough to handle. Another pain area is my eyes, my touch and my love I read things every time I am with a person. Most of the times I m on the right page, but that’s too scary for the person to take. I keeping the confidence on my mind reading ability, start talking about it to other person. And yeah not pressurizing that person to share it, yet make the person listen it. Sometime it might be a fair thing to do taking into consideration that person is very understanding. For others it’s an abnormal behavior.

Not that all my actions are dependent on sun signs, but I do analyze things on those lines as well. Problem with Saggi’s are they do and say what’s their in their heart, and sadly heart (read feeling) is most of the times very illogical. That’s one reason they can be taken in a wrong sense without much effort.

I am passing through the same phase again, and I feel am happily confused!!!

Angels in disguise!

Morning of 3rd was absolutely awful, my hr came and told that one of my teammate was found lying unconscious on road by another employee of our company (Anitha and Bassu). I was really anxious about it; cuz that guy is diabetic and had already collapsed in office once. I called up Anitha and she was finding really hard to control the guy cuz he was having convulsion. They took him to another hospital where he was given drip. And slowly he was back to consciousness.

I can’t really express how many prayers I would have done until I saw him in sense although I was so furious at that guy who is so reckless. It’s very unfortunate that people can’t really respect the value of their life. I just hope sanity prevails and he takes care of himself in future. But nothing can be taken away from those two angels in disguise.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Indigo Dignified

I have very low image of any Indian authority, but that got a shocker on 30th Dec. My folks were travelling from Bombay to Bangalore from Indigo Airlines. For a change my mom behaved reckless and dropped the cell in aircraft. We had no choice but to block the number and lodge FIR, still we tried to call the number for few hours. In evening it started to ring and someone picked the call, it was one of the crew of that flight. I explained the whole situation and she promised that she shall return the cell next day.

Although it took 2 days and lot of phone calls to Chennai/Bangalore to get back the mobile but still it was a very professional response which I never expected.
At least this whole episode brought some faith in the system.