Normal is Boring!!!

Missing objectivity in LIFE!

2011-03-17T15:55:00.000+05:30

I hate when life doesn't behave in an objective manner! Being hopelessly optimistic and always being independent makes me believe that am always in control. Somehow its not the case in life, things may not work as we want it to be.

Cant really say if thats positive or negative, cuz if its always in control there is no fun. If its not in control then its annoying and it hits.

Being Selfish is an Art

2010-09-24T09:56:00.000+05:30

I hate people who call up after 3 months in hibernation and demand for help and that too before exaggerating them being too busy. I have done some serious changes in my circle and have successfully made a set of reliable, constructive and non-whining friends where-as the other set is getting less of me...

I wish i can be rude enough to tell the same on their face... but Alas!!!

The Breakup!

2010-08-31T14:44:00.000+05:30

Ok just to clarify am not in a negative frame as the post would suggest... ;) I am just trying to elaborate on the act which is called break up. Although am not a huge fan of the concept Girl Friend/Boy Friend am not going to be bias about it. In my younger days (come on that doesn't mean am old now :P) I always used to wonder about this word and could never relate with that. I come from a conventional city but could hear some rebel stories which were shot down as soon as they came up in public discussion.

What I understood from it was to "Break the relation", but then my confusion was how can you ever break a relation. What has happened has already happened you can’t forget it unless you are suffering from some disease. Looking back now I feel it was a very innocent thought, I still feel the same but somehow have understood the real meaning out of it.

I feel sorry for youngsters who get involved in a relation just for peer pressure and end up having lost too much already. I remember talking to one of my friend who disclosed "Yaar break up nahi kareinge to next hook up kaise hoga..." ("If I won’t break, how can I hook up with someone else...") I didn't knew how to react to that...

Am Bored... Does that makes me NORMAL?!?!?

2010-08-20T11:47:00.003+05:30

I am getting bored, predictable, monotonous, solving (rather trying to solve) similar problems (which has no relation with me but still is related to me) Etc Etc... Describing a hopeless situation has to be as difficult as it can be understood. To complicate it more let me add that i have too less a time to think in 24 Hrs i have in a day. When weekend getaways satisfaction stops lasting for more than a fortnight there has to be some issue.

A Dry Year Continues!!!

2010-08-11T18:05:00.003+05:30

I never knew that i wont be able to post for this long... It has been a hectic but satisfying year till now... loads to write... let me get hold of sometime and i will share all of them.

Gadget Love!!!

2009-12-28T17:50:00.001+05:30

It’s been almost a year when I wanted to buy a good smart phone. Didn’t do it cuz I never felt the need, but now sometimes I do feel it.

So at last I went and bought E72, and am reasonably happy except that am unable to connect my Bluetooth headset.

"Kurbaan" Spreading Hatred or Harmony?!?!?!?

2009-11-24T17:26:00.004+05:30

Last Friday we (my wife and me) watched Kurbaan. It was a fast paced movie and I found it technically well made. However, if someone asks “How's the movie?” or “Did you like the movie?” there is a brief pause and then the review follows.

Story moves around a character that appears handsome and charming but is a pak based terrorist working for a sleeper cell in US. The same hysterical motive follows, and in end change of heart happens and negates some damage at least in order to save his pregnant beloved.

My silence before actual review is due to my vulnerability to explain to the world that not all Muslims are terrorists. It’s a very sensitive issue and I dunno if that’s shown in Media how many people will change their thoughts/opinion. I have a feeling that it would spread more hatred rather than bridging the gap.

I somehow feel that movie instead of spreading that there are muslims who can derail the terror plot at the cost of their lives it shall spread that muslims use hindu gals in their path of destruction.

I live in a city which is progressive and there are less people who are biased to a certain section of crowd at least on face. But situation at other places are not that good, I have heard and went through lot of situations personally which were traumatic for a peaceful Muslim.

Since childhood I have mostly gelled with non-muslims and they are just like family but sometimes it’s really tough. Just to quote an incident one of my friends Mom in reaction to “Parliamentary attacks in 2001…” explained that “These muslims are born to destruct…, stay away…” My sweet friend in turn shared everything with me, so the purpose was defeated but the hatred continued…

Busy Busy Busy!!!

2009-11-22T16:53:00.001+05:30

Two months are long enough for me to realize that I have not been posting anymore. When I look back there were only few reasons. The heaviest answer is that practically having plethora of things in my mind, including work and personal chores. I feel like holding threads with my hands, legs, mouth, eyes, nose Etc… I am not complaining cuz all this is adding value to my profile and I am learning every moment. Staying motivated is not a problem as I have some vision and am working towards the same.

Personal life has changed but not much I believe it’s just that I need to remember more things and ask my gal to remember some J all I hate it now is that our family is too far and we both are missing loads of things cuz of that.

Rajanigandha...

2009-09-13T00:16:00.007+05:30

I don’t know since when I started to like this flower but my liking grew more when I started to live alone. This Mexican flower brings the power to up the tempo of my day. Am happy to accept that it’s the girly side of me, which is quite aversive to lot of guys. I always enjoyed decorating my home, with flowers and various decors’ while glass and wooden arrangements being the favorite. But flowers have always been a "Special" part of my home.

My mom used to love Gladiolus, along with Tuberose... so aroma has been around since I was a kid it’s just that I am keeping the legacy alive. I used to bring it for her when I was in college which was fun.

Although I love Roses as well, but I can never get enough of Rajanigandha.

Friends, Office and Faking

2009-09-12T23:53:00.005+05:30

Past 5.5 years that I passed in Bangalore were primarily in office and thus if I can count my friends they are mostly from office. Recently my friend (Sumit) started a recruitment venture in Hyderabad and others followed, am happy that it’s moving nicely. Although my wife works in my office and she is almost there with me when am dull still I miss my old friends. I had a small circle in office and now when I find none to talk to, it’s really very frustrating.

I have transformed to an accommodating person when things are not according to my wish, until I am not taken for granted. Today I once again watched Season 5 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, where Chandler's work laugh is portrayed as a fake one just to please his immediate boss. It was really funny and I was all smiles when he (Chandler) asks Monika to lose in the Tennis Match just cuz he wanted his boss to invite him for a dinner. There have been few people who have seen me working in office, and each one of them have hated me to the core while I was in office. Reasons were never related to my work but had always to do about my behavour in office. Majority of the times question were raised on the culture of office starting from the way I talk to people, how aggressive we are when we work, how we crack jokes on people, how we gossip, there is also a feeling that we disrespect women (which is bullshit), how we back people who work more, how we laugh... Etc Etc... ;o)

I don't have words for few of the interpretations (read assumptions) there are times when youhave to do things just cuz you have to do, no harm intended to anyone. If I just talk about myself I am not a pervert, but am surely a fun loving guy who try to keep a friendly atmosphere while working. I feel there is no harm in that, if that get things done in this environ I guess I am doing my job well...

There are various things which I also hate it, but then I have to do it. Talking about fake laugh... :D tell me about it... ;)

Getting Nostalgic!!!

2009-09-03T13:47:00.005+05:30

I was in a meeting early morning when i happen to see the calendar and got to see the todays date. I quietly smiled, was lucky no one noticed... Eight years back same day i joined MCA in BBD. Day marks a lot of significance in my life as the journey decided a long path in my career.

Thinking about those days i feel how focussed i was at that stage. It was a good stay for sure, learnt a lot in all aspects. Its great to get nostalgic... i loved those days although it was really hard at times due to variety of reasons.

Ramzan time!

2009-09-02T13:04:00.004+05:30

Today is 11th roza and ya things are going great! It has been certainly hectic till now but can be manageable. My Blogs have taken serious hit as my blogs in draft is increasing with each passing day.

I will be surely clearing it off by this weekend. There are too many things happening in my personal and professional life so loads to shed... ;)

Am trying to be more assertive in office and this time am not carrying guilt if am being harsh on certain people. There are plenty of things to do and we all have to be aggressive and if things are not moving in the same direction its going to be hard.

Am trying a read a lot on the similar implementations to our product which is really difficult as our product is one of its kind from both technical and business standpoint.

Personal life is very hectic... hardly any off's and now in Ramzan time is just flying... And we have a planned visit to Lucknow so we both are excited. :o)

"Hug and Roll"

2009-08-14T13:02:00.006+05:30

Out of no where I remembered the friends episode where Ross shared his in-famous "Hug and Roll" techinque. And ya that dint solve Chandler's problem by any means. I shared this with my wife and she was all cracked up... ;o)

Who are ya???

2009-08-11T10:20:00.002+05:30

This post is dedicated to a surprise visitor at my blog from Delhi... I am glad that u find time at least once a day to hop in and find more stuff around... ;o)

I have been thinking of starting a photo blog soon... So stay around for more updates...

Clock Ticks and Time Changes!

2009-08-02T00:01:00.003+05:30

Sometimes I feel time runs like crazy when you are happy... or when you are out of "well"... It's like "Glad am out..." I really used to feel at times that will I become feeling less and this used to haunt me inside... Am not a person who can be cold and it's really sad on anyone's part if it happens.

In my life it did come to level where I stopped sharing my pain with anyone, and of course that led to too many problems cuz people started to feel that am the happiest person on earth. My feeling is if you share your pain and get relieved by telling that to "someone" you tend to get dependent on that person. And ya one of my friends did "Bull shit" this feeling of mine or maybe she felt that am simply lying...

Over a period of time I spent in Bangalore, I learnt how to stay happy while being alone and not faking it. Making myself believe that I don't need anything extra to make me happy.

Now things are very different, I have a pretty company who is as mad as I am... we talk nonsense loud, help each other, look at each other when the other person isn't watching, go for a lemonade when bored in office, have daily luncheon together... and enjoying every moment of it.

Now am not dependent on her but long to be with her...

A Nice Day!!!

2009-08-01T22:58:00.002+05:30

Got up Early in morning, then lazied around for a while... Made a list of "TO DO:" and thats how the journey started... Music and crazy talks... along with lil bit of yelling... yeah i do that when the to do list's are not prioritized... ;) Was going fair till then... from some discussion i went 8 years back... And indeed its a long time now...

Was just sharing it with my wife and yes she was surprised and ofcourse in a pleasant way to know about my writings, poems, songs... Getting a glimpse of your "LOST" self are hardly pleasant but it was fine...

In evening we watched movie "Love Aaj Kal" which was ok types... And again we had long chat while coming back... which was surely good...

Its Boring!!!

2009-07-31T16:59:00.003+05:30

Am simply getting bored!!! and ya there are lot of reasons... I need to find the road to redemption... Any ideas?

... and miles to go before i sleep

2009-07-28T10:31:00.005+05:30

I am a self motivated person and have tons of things in mind at any given instant. I fail to conclude sometimes if thats right or wrong, so tend to drop that thought. My swiftness/activeness cannot be associated with haste or careless, but i will accept that am always in hurry. One of my close friends commented "... Are you born of eighth month???" ;o). The only reason i can make out is the realization of wasting good amount of time in past and its like now i have to make every moment count.

I was mostly lost in my schooling days and was hardly into literature but i do remember some poems. I remember mugging up Robert Frost's "... Miles to go before i sleep", i did'nt get much out of it back then. Today after 15 long years i am remembering that poem cuz i feel the same...

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

These lines struck me last night...

"New York"

2009-07-27T13:27:00.006+05:30

So after a long gap saw a movie in theatre and ya this time it was with my adorable wife... And was fun... At last there was something meaningful in indian cinema. "New York" is a fair movie to start with and ya with a cause tooh...

Long back i wrote about an incident that happened with me and i did write about it here. I was very disappointed and i did come to know that lot of people went through the same. Movie at least brings the subject in light that "it" happened and now atleast citizens are aware about it and condemn the same.

Movie is about a Muslim guy who wanted to take revenge with FBI for being detained and tortured as a terror suspect. FBI sneaked his old muslim friend as an undercover agent to his home and ultimately he stops "The Mission", in the process his friend and wife getting killed.

It did end in a positive note stating things have changed and everybody has to move on now. And i feel thats the way to go.

It took 4 years to reason why I am a Fan of Roddick!

2009-07-06T10:15:00.007+05:30

Everyone who saw Wimbledon Men's Singles Final Yesterday should be assured that they witnessed history. Apart from it being the longest Wimbledon final, it was unarguably the best fight Roddick can give to Roger. I have always liked him for being aggressive on court but what he lacked was consistency and he used to get carried away, he more than often failed to show the guts on big days and his baggage were always full of unforced err's. But what he displayed in this tournament was something different.

If I have dreamt of Andy playing like a champ, yesterday was the day... Am sure he was disappointed and for sure he was irritated as well. There were at least couple of calls which were pathetic by Hawk-Eye... If technology is not gonna be 100% accurate why the hell people use it, it might end up changing the complexion of game.

Roddick started like a super star, his forehand winners were strong. Serve was way better than federer, playing for 4 hours' 16 mins and still having 70 percent first serve in is absolutely fabulous. And last game being the sole service break he had in the entire match can sum up his dominance in the game.

Federer has turned veteran now, and it’s his sheer experience which won him the match yesterday. Roddick was serving in the shade and when ball was coming out from the dark it was almost impossible for him to catch it... he lost it couple of times in the game. Well I surely am not giving reasons why Rod' lost yesterday, it’s just that he certainly deserved the Cup yesterday.

Dream On!!!

2009-06-28T08:48:00.003+05:30

It was long back when I realized that I am a mindless thinker... My thoughts were just backed by my words and no one used to ever get what exactly it shall translate to... Sometimes my thoughts were so obscure that I used to really pass a smile on myself. But now looking back am very happy and grateful to me that I have loads to achieve and work for.

I certainly feel that dreaming is an art... Long back I read a book "Creative Visualization", that was the first and last motivational book I read on a request of a close friend. Minus some shady thoughts I did like that book. It surely aggravated "dreaming" in me...

My thoughts were never restricted to professional or personal life... or some other life... I keep on thinking about all possibilities, long/short term, critical/petty, serious/funny... It will not be wrong to consider that I have pun a small layer of dreams around me...

I just wanna dream on...

Love is in AIR!!!

2009-06-23T19:30:00.002+05:30

I can smell it... :)

So my craving gets a big feed!!!

2009-06-19T12:15:00.002+05:30

None of my work has been smoother than this... Now at last i have my own car... Cant wait to get a good hold of the steering... man thats warm... coolest feeling... Am just living in this moment...

So... Am a bad listener?

2009-06-01T13:12:00.006+05:30

At last I have been able to start thinking strongly in this direction... People did complain on occasions that I dun listen and tend to frame some notion in my mind which might be wrong and hence forth all my reactions/comments/observations are biased.

Am stubborn but not egoistic, am clumsy and rude at times but not insenstive and am emotional but not indiscernible... I guess and hope at the same time people who are/were close always get that, otherwise it’s a bad news.

Am definitely arrogant on occasions but those topics are few and I shall remain sticky on it. There are people who will literally laugh it off when they read the post’s topic... They cannot imagine me as bad listener... :) So there is a problem in perceiving it and my inability to understand the exact situation on occasions.

I am wondering why the heck I am writing all this... I shouldn’t be really explaining all this... Actually, I hate to listen these conclusive one angled statements/allegations... it bothers me for sure when my clumsy nature concludes on such stupid comments.

So take away for me in this situation shall be to stay calm on those challenging situations and understand the depth instead of commanding and giving "gyan". I hope that helps...

After Life!!!

2009-05-30T23:55:00.009+05:30

I always used to wonder some years back... how it would feel when i will get married and if change will happen what all it shall affect... I always had a doubt on my temper, my communication and my expectations... For long now i had been living with a shell around me, and there are absolutely few people i communicate my heart to... Making someone a part of it was the scariest thing i could have ever dreamt of...

I started off cautiously and its working out fine till now... There are lot of strings attached to this special relation... Friends and Work being the most critical... Although, I feel i am a responsible guy who can manage things, it's something i have to listen from people around me...

At work i am the same old person... pulling legs, aggressive in getting things done... and ya pretty much the same person... When it comes to friends... I guess people in the same geographies had to suffer... But they are very few actually... :D as i am a big miser when it comes to spend time outside work... But now i feel things have settled mostly...

I have to start playing... and yeah i have to go for a long drive... that had to wait for long... lemme see when i can make it happening...

Now i feel this is an "After Life" for me... and hope i can make it better...

Independent Vs Detached

2009-05-30T23:46:00.008+05:30

Is it that confusing??? I dunno... but yeah now i feel there is a real thin line between the two... This question came in my mind 2-3 days back... and then i asked myself dozens of questions... Some of them are still un-answered, hopefully it gets some logical findings.

Being Independent according to me shall be the ability to carry your own self and things around you in a subtle responsible way in all the normal circumstances... And yes of course there are moments when you need a person who has the ability to hear it out if not help ya in a problem... Which is no wrong... Where as being Detached according to me shall be getting just involved in yourself, and trying to avoid sharing things consciously or sub-consciously.

Its simple to state may be... but am sure one who goes through things it can be a different perspective all together...

Dilemma!

2009-05-30T13:14:00.007+05:30

Its a long time now... yups thats how i feel... yes its ages now!!! I have seen it all... Yes am aware there is loads to watch and be a mute spectator of. I have grown and that too a lot... and with that my stupidity... my hopelessly optimistic behavior... Oh come on am not in a negative mood... Its just a mood am trying to shed over in this post... again being hopelessly optimistic... ya thats an irony... ;o)

Long back i wrote a post about "Life is recursive" and last night i slept thinking about the same. There are loads of incidents in ones life where in you just feel that no matter what happens i would never like to see myself standing in the same situation... You make promises to yourself, you pray to god... you accept things the way they are... you do tons of things... And after a healing time, you come back to senses and years after you look back and smile at your own inability to solve a situation.

I have seen and met a lot of people... I have seen some of them change with time and without time... These people take "caring" as "intruding", "concern" as "over-protection" and sometimes people need their "own space". In all the cases i blame myself for it... Cuz in each and every case i had lost it long back and i was just being foolish to revive it or hoping things to change... Its not that my optimism saw always failure, there were turnarounds too... and that too some great ones.

Continuing to curse myself more here, Am horribly clumsy... and i should be stopped to speak to people at times. Cuz my language fail to fall inline with my emotions/feelings... And to all my bad luck those things trigger the change in people... Well in my defense i used to feel that those people were mine and they understand me inside out... well... in end i find out it was not the case... perhaps i should work more hard on my expression...

Its tough to express why i am writing all this... Actually i am confused... Just trying to find an answer "Am/Was i that BAD?"

Why am so senstive towards my workplace?

2009-05-15T18:13:00.003+05:30

My first professional footsteps were at a place where in i felt at home and i grew learning things everyday... and I dunno when i got so attached to this place... It has already been close to 5.5 years now... and i still feel it was yesterday when i humbly began my work here.

People have given their life to make this place reach here, and in the process have sacrificed a lot... I will count myself in that club tooh... And am proud of it... Now the whole thing has transformed in a peculiar way... and it’s really difficult to justify and explain it here... Ok Lemme try...

There have been occasions when I was bugged by variety of reasons, and have thought of moving on... but every time I feel it... i get into some sorta discussion and things are settled for a period... Leaving this place is a huge decision and when someone hints it I get really wild at times... I dunno if it’s right or wrong... but it happens...

My responsibilities are increasing day by day... and am thinking everyday to make things better for people around me... Yet to answer how...

Have I Changed???

2009-05-15T16:41:00.003+05:30

Have I changed??? That's one thing which I keep on asking myself since I got married. I am not sure about the answers, although some of them complaint of me being busy… I feel it was always the case… ;)

There has been lot of things happening in last month and a half, primarily cuz of marriage. Now things are settling, and am kind of used to of "ready lunch", things seen in a different angle than mine and kind of appreciating it, Am not working at home for a change… Spending less time in watching FRIENDS and Cricket ok lil time in Cricket... :D

I know marriage is the biggest event of life and things change after that but I dun see a point where in individual change… I would love to listen it back someday that... "You're still the same…"

I accept that am repetitively irritating :D

2009-04-28T16:59:00.004+05:30

Come on its not that i just realized it, i know this for a while. To beging with, I am crazily into F.R.I.E.N.D.S and cricket and if someone is not into it with that intensity then its quite irritating. Then i have a habit of repeating things, whether that be telling incidents, asking questions... and in my defence its all cuz of my excitement and eagerness to make sure the other person is aware about everything ;)

And yes I cannot ignore that every close friend I have in bangalore (who doesnt work in CareerNet/HiRePro) hates my passion for my workplace. I really dunno the reason... but thats a fact.

Although I try to overcome some things, but its really tough to lessen my interest in F.R.I.E.N.D.S and cricket, lets see how long it stays.

New Journey!

2009-04-22T15:47:00.002+05:30

So am back in Bangalore after a long eventful visit. Good part is everything happened smoothly and i never panicked. I had a memorable trip to Kashmir which deserves a new blog all together. Will start writing soon.

Things are passing in such a pace that am not able to keep upto it. I am married already and living with my wife, thats a strange feeling. Am feeling still the same, only difference being i have a friend to give me company when am back home.

Home is more decorated and am not allowed to cook... I hate that for sure, but somehow managing. Itching to write and share more things. Will continue to do that like always :)

Emotions at "Work Place".... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2009-03-23T13:36:00.002+05:30

Ok before I begin shall accept that am a very emotional person. Most of the times my day-to-day actions are dependent on my feelings... However when it comes to take long term decisions I have always used my mind... and am thankful to god that it has paid off till now...

I do know at workplace one should not be mixing emotions... but it’s tough sometimes... That’s me... I hate myself doing that but still it happens... I have to fight with myself big time... More I get involved with the place, more I take ownership of things... and in the process I adjust to certain things and ignore loads of things... Am respected for that for sure, but I dun want to limit my thinking just for that reason... Problem is I don’t think of my short term benefit, which to some extent is also important...

Now am really stuck... Have to think like crazy... dunno what will be the result... Time shall decide... but soon...

My Latest Possession!

2009-03-10T13:48:00.004+05:30

So at last after 2 weeks of analysis, and pushed to go overbudget courtesy Mr Shijo. Actually this guy is in a wrong profession. This guy is a genious photograpaher having instinct to capture anything and everything. You can see his work here.

I was going for Cannon SX-100, and kinda believed Cannon will be the best option, but having looked at the performance of Sony, i was kinda zapped. It did cost me a fortune, but yeah its fine... and kinda its a right time. :)

So looking forward to click...

Revamped Portal!!!

2009-02-12T12:29:00.002+05:30

Okay... So the portal is back with a new look... Try it on... http://candidates.careernet.co.in

Inordinate Coordinates!!!

2009-01-19T16:29:00.004+05:30

There is a very important issue which I never talked about. Almost everyone is hit by that and it’s "Global Economy Slowdown". It translates to different meaning for every individual. Am getting married in April, and to me it means a "Difficult Year" ahead for sure. I never used to spend lavishly, but yeah I do used to spend on my hobbies. I know that’s not too huge to even mention, but yeah I can cut that for sure. I always lived in nice places, and I used to spend more than what a normal bachelor shall do. I have strong likes and dislikes so I prefer living alone. Now I guess good news is House rents gonna go down. So hoping that I can normalize there.

Shape of Business is getting as dynamic as it can be. Shedding bad apples, stretching work timings, correcting remuneration, re-structuring teams, re-aligning and re-prioritizing projects and evaluating performances are helping to cut cost and improve productivity. This is the bad time for people who were having just "fun" for past 2.5 years. I regret to say that’s quite a number, at least in IT Industry. On a different note am happy, cuz there will be a big consolidation in outsourcing market and for sure larger hit will be IT. India has always been a consumer market for a long time now but now am hopeful there will be a lot of product startups which will arise in this very market.

Advantages for me are we have released a post alpha of the product and now working towards its beta release and everyone is more than motivated to give their best and make the product attain "corporate ready" shape. This is in adverse situation, and I am learning every minute. It’s real tough to manage a lot of things and communicate to people who have no idea what the ground realities are. But I feel am lucky to have enough support around me to cope these kinda situations. Just hope everything settles with time and "co-ordinates" are ordinated.

And we delivered...

2009-01-05T13:19:00.006+05:30

Well by the time I was travelling, we resketched history by releasing 2 more products... Something which i am really proud of. One being Recruitment Management Suite and other one as a Niche Job Portal, having built in CRM capabilities.

Both the sites are in post alpha mode, and we are still bullish on adding things... So am sure coming months will be more exciting.

You can have a look of Reqster and AMS-Web. I am not publishing the UserName and password for sanity sake, can do it on request. Our website is also revamped.

NorthWind

2009-01-04T21:26:00.003+05:30

So last week of 2008, and I headed to the most difficult place at this time cuz Its chilly, foggy, trains and flights getting late and lot of inconvenience. But I definitely had too many motivations to conquer all my scares. Journey was surely tiresome and boring of sorts. I had to do lot of running to get my cell charged. I reached late and entered into the state of Bihar… I never liked this place mostly cuz of people. Anyway wedding turned out to be nice and I met some of my cousins after a long time. Although I stayed silent for most of the time, I surely was secretly going through all the procedures.

I never told anyone about me meeting my gal in Delhi, cuz I wanted to avoid unnecessary questions. My “would be” in-laws also attended the wedding so I got one more good chance to interact and they were as sweet as I always perceived.

My biggest worry with marriage was the family compatibility and the gal gelling in with my family. Now all that is history, and Insha’Allah it will remain. I did inform my folks that I have got a ring for her and shall try to meet her.

My train reached 6 hours late and I was very much irritated. It was bright and sunny day… and the day became brighter in later part of the day. When the wind was caressing my body and trying to reach my bones… I was in different world. This was the first time this North“Wind” didn’t bother me…

18th December!!!

2008-12-18T14:52:00.004+05:30

This day certainly holds importance in my life... Being the birth date me as a kid used to wait for clock to struck midnight and then very innocently used to ask my dad how much my legs have grown. And my dad used to nod in affirmation giving me a happy feeling of growing big. My innocence was a source of fun to my lovely sister in more than one ways... And this blog can’t cover her mischiefs.

I grew up, but the charm still remained, mostly to meet my friends. Until a tragedy happened on the same day, which is still a painful pill to swallow. This year someone special entered in my life. The exciting part is when she was paving her way in my life I was totally unaware that she is cementing her place in my life... We gradually exchanged precious moments of our lives and in the process came closer.

Yesterday eve received a big package... and also got hold of list of items in there and I was completely awed by the act. It was bit embarrassing to take that to my cubicle cuz I knew there will be a leg pulling session... and indeed it was... I reached home... talked to her in length... Around midnight I started to unwrap the baggage with utmost care... and it took 1 and a half hour to see it all... I had never felt so loved in my life ever... Each part of the packing, every small letter written, and every item present gave me goose bumps.

This day holds a different meaning in my life... Thanks to my beloved...

Hopefully Last Id Alone!!!

2008-12-10T13:11:00.004+05:30

I am so engrossed in my day today activities that I dun have a conscious feeling of loneliness. But things get exaggerated when I am sick or there is a festival. This time again Bakrid is gone... and I still feel it was just another regular day. Am sure this will end with time.

And am waiting for those times…

Why so Restless???

2008-11-21T16:06:00.005+05:30

After a grand change... now the feeling has transitioned to restlessness. It’s tough to explain in words how it feels. It's certainly not about the "C" word. I have accepted the fact very well... It was not that difficult thanks to my “would be”. We are settling now after long and meaningful/nonsense discussions... So the fact remains the same... Why restlessness???

I wake up in middle of night... as if I never slept... then will be totally blank... Will try and sleep again... This happens quite often now... and to some extent I get irritated. It’s very hectic in office, cuz of 2 releases round the corner. Thankfully things are shaping well, and team is responding in a phenomenal spirit. I guess this year will be the most happening for me... Have been pretty close to the team and worked hard with them and now I am seeing great results. So from that front am definitely at ease. So that cannot be the reason of my restlessness.

Market is going haywire, but I know what exactly I am doing and the kind of value am adding to the business... so that’s not the concern at all. All am thinking about is taking our products to the next level. There is nothing more I can ask for from the professional life... may be more money... ;) Ok on serious note... I am learning, taking more responsibility from delivery standpoint. Reaching more to the business, Reading more articles, doing more critical things from technical standpoint... So my professional life cannot be the reason again.

So for now, I have decided I won’t be thinking about things consciously. I feel it’s just a phase and shall subside... Hope that things settle down fast.

God Google!!!

2008-11-12T13:27:00.003+05:30

Its been a long time we heard about video chat innovating, at last its here... and am sure its tough to one up this... Its Google's Voice Chat!!!

Change!!!

2008-11-06T16:21:00.003+05:30

The way am feeling or going through can be summed up with only one word “change”. And I have concluded now that it’s for better for sure. Although too many things changing in positive direction worries me cuz I fail to experience the feeling of earning and thus it’s not that satisfying.

My professional life is also going through a change for quite some time now. It was tough to begin with but it’s getting settled with time. Industry is going down the hill; hope that it recovers after US election. Recruitment as a domain is also set for a big change. RPO is a buzz word for the next generation. I feel pity for Recruiters who are working for a big corporate as they will be the soft targets to start with. On some corners I do feel they were so complacent about their job that this day would have definitely come.

Personal life… I guess is heading towards for even a bigger change. Not long back I wanted to live alone, but now I am realizing its due for change. Have contravened all the negative thoughts and have lot of reasons to think positive now… :)

I am thinking a lot may be… planning, situations, interactions… hope everything settles soon.

Happy DiWali!!!

2008-10-29T13:31:00.003+05:30

Boring Meeting?

2008-07-30T10:46:00.001+05:30

Tell me about it!!!

2008-07-30T10:42:00.002+05:30

Eight Years!!!

2008-07-27T21:19:00.006+05:30

I was preparing for my BSc first second papers, when saw an ad for the competition organized by an upcoming ISP (Avadh, it no longer exists). After a lot of delays it actually happened. 2 tense rounds which involved whole day and I was declared the winner of "Design Online Challenge". It remained to be the only competition where I won, and I hope not the only one... :)

Many things changed in these eight years but my attitude towards work only compounded. Sometimes I really feel time is funny, there was a time when I hardly used to study and now people (read my friends) call me workaholic.

It’s a kick I feel which a person gets addicted to, and the same happened with me I suppose. Just wanted to think back and smile. I owe it to my sister whose last minute encouragement worked, and yeah that gif was her choice… :)

Lesson!!!

2008-07-23T22:22:00.006+05:30

Apart from hectic work schedule in office, we are having "Managers Training" of sorts and that has nothing to do with me being a Manager, cuz i hate the word "MANAGER". It sounds like a laid back guy in mid 30's who uses team members as his "Frustration Toy". Ok i wont deviate from the topic... :)

We had our first session after the inaugral one (which by the way was amazing). A lady was our instructor who had around 13yrs of experience in HR field. Along with some valuable suggestions she hit my nerve by saying, "We spent most of the time with problem creators". After hearing that i got sudden pictures in my mind of doing the the exact activity.

That was a big lesson i learned, and now am practicing not to do the same and its working out effectively :)

(empty post)

2008-07-22T20:19:00.001+05:30

Imaged!!!

2008-07-21T16:03:00.003+05:30

I was looking for some image editing tools and then saw this piknik and am clinging to it... Until someone suggests something more innovative...

"Suggested contacts" Am looking forward...

2008-07-18T14:03:00.002+05:30

So at last google is tweaking the contacts managed Algorithm. It was for sure annoying at times... But sometimes it was very useful i should say :)

Best solution is let user decide which is a valid "Contact" for a person.

Read this

(empty post)

2008-06-21T18:03:00.001+05:30

Parenting Act!!!

2008-03-17T23:25:00.002+05:30

I always liked kids and just love to baby sit. It’s tough to have some kid at home full time for now… so I always had a wish to have a gold fish which is pretty easy to have. I got it last year… and it was fun, cept that they dint last more than a year. I named them “Harry and Sally”, they were one of my fav characters in onscreen. Last week I got another pair and now I have someone whom I can talk to when am back home. after a lot of talks, we are starting to get along well now. I have named them “Jess and Celine” after another stunning characters onscreen from movie “Before Sunrise”. I am really glad that am able to fulfill my wish of parenting.

I've had enough I guess...

2008-03-12T19:09:00.002+05:30

I surely give a thought over what’s the reason of my diminishing social life, but am yet to find a concrete answer. The irony of the whole thing is no one can believe I feel this way. Anyhow that doesn’t bother me. Coming back to the thought, I feel I am a big miser when it comes to time with someone. I have huge regard for time and that’s not gonna change. I will always prefer watching my favourite movie alone rather than meeting someone. This doesn’t mean I dun feel like being with people, but that club has less members and not many of them are in Bangalore.
I have met a lot of people in past 8 years and being myself with them was real tough job. What I gradually learned was to stay calm, composed and collective under any circumstance. I started practicing it and in the process lost all the expectations from my personal life. More often than not I feel its good, cuz whatever happens it doesn’t affect you much. I have moulded myself in a manner that I get the satisfaction in others happiness. And I do pamper myself by living alone and making things work on my own. That’s the nirvana for me.
I feel I sound complicated and complex... I dunno exactly... but that’s me for now... :)

I want to live alone...

2008-03-01T12:56:00.001+05:30

I don’t know since when and how... but I guess I have attained this feeling that I m happy being alone... and now it has gone into my sub-conscious... I love watching my favourite movies, songs... reading, writing... Studying... Cooking... Decorating... I mean there is so much to do that am failing to include anyone in my space... I don’t know if I am being selfish or not... Or if I m a loner... I really dun care... I am happy this way... :)

Critics Segment - Part 1

2008-01-31T08:14:00.000+05:30

I wanted to compile all the compliments/criticism till date, and obviously all the justified ones ;o). And I guess here is the day to see it all.

Ummm starting from my childhood, I had got lot of thrashing from my parents regarding studies. I was always contrasted with my extra brilliant sister. I used to get loads of comments from my teachers like… “Learn from your sister…”, “How come you both are siblings?”, “Don’t tell me you are Shazia’s brother…” So these were some of the hit comments. My parents also used to get very annoyed and then also used to add to the comments database. Sounds like a horrible childhood but it wasn’t, I agree I wasn’t too serious with studies.

I used to play a lot, and did fairly well there but never participated in any formal tournament. I was crazy for cricket, whether it was watching or playing. I used to maintain statistics of all Indian players back in my school days. And not surprisingly my folks used to hate my eccentricity.

With time my interest towards Computer Sc and Mathematics increased, and I got some respect there for change ;o) Then gradually I picked up in studies and got the taste of favoritism in my post grad. It did used to make me feel content.

I came to Bangalore and joined CareerNet. I never got any compliment from anybody formally, but I always found a special place in everyone’s heart. I went to L&T for 9.5 months. That place never matched my insights and attitude. People were dull there; one of the colleagues said publicly that “You are too active...”, it took time for me to really understand what exactly he meant by that. But there were people who liked my technical skills and my vocal attitude. I got a lot of respect there as well.

I was back in CareerNet and my CEO once said “I have less to worry, as Wali is back…” I knew I was a novice technology person back then. I got introduced to one of the finest character I have seen and that’s LN (Lakshmi Narayan, now VP in SAP Labs). He is my idol for sure, that guy had a huge experience in everything and is still so down to earth. I have learnt a lot from him and probably still learning a lot. Well everybody in our team waited to hear at least one satisfactory remark. But he always used to find some design issues. Each one of us very glad to see the things from his eyes, cuz it was unique and next to perfect. Few months back he commented on the product that “Now people can spend money to use the product…” This means a lot to me personally, as each one of us here has given everything or I guess more than everything they possess for this product.

I completed 3 years in CareerNet and was felicitated few months back. Well it’s always a proud moment to be in such occasions. There was a lot of fun on the stage, as Pashu (pati) referred me in this company so was cracking few jokes… Anshu (man) then said one sentence “If I had to choose one guy he trusts the most, it would be me…, and he is the guy of ethics…”, that’s the biggest earning I have had in my life I guess.

So this shall end the professional critics segment. I never carry the praise for long, cuz I know it has already happened and now I have to achieve something new. I am too hungry to achieve things and I just hope I just stay the same forever.

Am I Arrogant or Provokingly Abrasive or Casually Rough?

2008-01-30T20:29:00.000+05:30

On Sunday was having a deep conversation with my sister, and she told me that am little arrogant. It gave me a jolt, but after a lot of thought I concluded that the manner in which I present things may not be always well perceived. It’s ludicrous but still I will relate it with my sun sign :o) Saggi's are blunt and lack diplomacy. I have seen a lot of ups and downs in life, and have worked very hard for all that I have got. I will surely consider myself lucky that all my hard work was noticed and rewarded. I hate certain things in life and I will always do it no matter what therefore I tend to get harsh on those subjects, and yeah can also get rude on occasions. The emotion behind the cause is very strong and sincere feeling on that issue, but the presentation is not apt at times.

Usually am very patient in explaining things but sometimes when the other person is talking some crap and not even ready to listen that’s one situation I get impatient and might get abrasive. So I will categorize this act of mine under provokingly abrasive.

In a different scenario, when someone is inquisitive about my current work and remuneration or my future plans or my dreams I tend to be very true. Am very aggressive and I wanna set high standards for myself. I know not everyone is like that, and if I share those thoughts with them they will look down on themselves or they shall feel am in air. I don’t care if someone thinks am in air, cuz that’s not true. If someone looks down on himself it’s his/her problem and that person have to deal with it. Well I also feel that sometimes my idea of motivating results as a negative impact as people might take it as a lot of expectation may be cuz they lack belief in themselves. I shall categorize this act as casually rough, what I can do to prevent some ugly situation is while expressing my ideas I should be very careful about the person am talking to.

Major problem with my attitude is I speak my mind whether I talk to a stranger or a friend. I believe sometimes one has to be very polished. What best i can do is I shall try to be more careful when I express my views over any subject in public.

Zip Trip!

2008-01-29T19:47:00.000+05:30

On 27th had a flying visit to Delhi to attend a wedding, and gosh it was hectic or may be hectic is less explanatory. Not surprisingly I suffered from cold and fatigue after I was back to my home [Bangalore :o)].

Ok back to Trip, I was very excited for the whole visit as I was supposed to meet my sis, cousins and some family friends. It turned out to be an eye opener for me and got to know many things about myself. Some of them were, "Have changed a lot...", "Am arrogant...", "I can demoralize people", "I can give complex to people...", "I still hate people who believe in pomp 'n' show", "I still cant acclimatize to a noisy event". I would require separate posts to cover each one of it, would try to do it as soon as I can.

I spent bulk of the time with my sister and had long discussion over marriage and future. I am glad that am so close to my sister and have gone through so much that can at least help someone. Well my sister has seen a lot of world I guess but still there are topics which need different perspective/angle.

I love the relation we share and hope that it remains forever.

Happily Confused?

2008-01-12T08:43:00.000+05:30

My life has always been pretty interesting. Confusion, Complexity, Uncertainty, Irrationality, Illogicality, Thrills… these are some of the flavors of my life. It’s a vague thought of mine that every person’s life has a pattern. May be I think a lot, or I analyze my life a lot… I love to talk to people and try to understand things from their perspective; in the process I have become too accommodating. Now am on the verge of concluding that it’s a quality no more.

Pattern of my life is pretty obvious now; I dun get one problem at a time. It’s like attending to innumerable problems in one go and none of them will have margin to err. I can’t crib about those situations as I end up learning the most from them. I have to fight with pain, anguish, anxiety, restlessness, irritation and few more reactive measures which most of the times add up to the problem.

There are some situations of my life which keeps on repeating and I hate them for sure. Whenever I badly need something or I am short of something in my personal life I will be getting that in abundance suddenly but for a period and that shall vanish leaving some pretty moments and memory. I don’t know relating everything with past is the smartest thing or not, but it’s quite natural for anyone to do and I am no different. So it gets confusing for me in that period, I have to take a call on whether to hold that moment or fight hard and make the pattern change.

I have a huge circle but I am a miser when it comes to spend my precious time with someone. I will always prefer to be alone and do something that I want rather than going out for a party. And if I m with my love I will still prefer to be at a quiet place and talk rather than being at a loud public place. Ummm I m ignoring the shopping time which I simply enjoy :0).

I have no boundaries of love at all; I tend to give everything I have which is gradual process for sure. I know that’s not wise at all but it’s too tough to handle. Another pain area is my eyes, my touch and my love I read things every time I am with a person. Most of the times I m on the right page, but that’s too scary for the person to take. I keeping the confidence on my mind reading ability, start talking about it to other person. And yeah not pressurizing that person to share it, yet make the person listen it. Sometime it might be a fair thing to do taking into consideration that person is very understanding. For others it’s an abnormal behavior.

Not that all my actions are dependent on sun signs, but I do analyze things on those lines as well. Problem with Saggi’s are they do and say what’s their in their heart, and sadly heart (read feeling) is most of the times very illogical. That’s one reason they can be taken in a wrong sense without much effort.

I am passing through the same phase again, and I feel am happily confused!!!

Angels in disguise!

2008-01-12T08:42:00.000+05:30

Morning of 3rd was absolutely awful, my hr came and told that one of my teammate was found lying unconscious on road by another employee of our company (Anitha and Bassu). I was really anxious about it; cuz that guy is diabetic and had already collapsed in office once. I called up Anitha and she was finding really hard to control the guy cuz he was having convulsion. They took him to another hospital where he was given drip. And slowly he was back to consciousness.

I can’t really express how many prayers I would have done until I saw him in sense although I was so furious at that guy who is so reckless. It’s very unfortunate that people can’t really respect the value of their life. I just hope sanity prevails and he takes care of himself in future. But nothing can be taken away from those two angels in disguise.

Indigo Dignified

2008-01-09T23:11:00.000+05:30

I have very low image of any Indian authority, but that got a shocker on 30th Dec. My folks were travelling from Bombay to Bangalore from Indigo Airlines. For a change my mom behaved reckless and dropped the cell in aircraft. We had no choice but to block the number and lodge FIR, still we tried to call the number for few hours. In evening it started to ring and someone picked the call, it was one of the crew of that flight. I explained the whole situation and she promised that she shall return the cell next day.

Although it took 2 days and lot of phone calls to Chennai/Bangalore to get back the mobile but still it was a very professional response which I never expected.
At least this whole episode brought some faith in the system.

My Contrasting life!

2007-12-22T02:35:00.000+05:30

If I judge myself in personal and professional life, am the exact opposite. I cant say when it turned out to be this way. When it comes to my personal life, I have been very understanding, accommodating, loving, caring, soft spoken, patient, adjusting Etc. with controlled aggression but less expectations. This is somehow not the case when I step in my office.

My personal life has faced lot of hurdles still I have no complaints, it has come out neat. May be I m not too demanding I guess. In such a short time I have experienced a lot of things, met lot of people and came close to many of them. At this young age, I have seen a lot of life and am happy about all. Have committed a lot of mistakes but in my defense, none of them looked to be.

After so many things happening, I am a lot circumspect about getting close to anyone. My life gets very complicated at times but now the difference is I face everything with a big smile. I was never short of good company but they went away as they came. Have stopped thinking about my future personal life, cuz I dun have much expectation from the same. I am taking it as it comes.

Talking about my professional life, am one of the flag bearers of my Organizations fading culture I would say. I work with a Recruitment Organization’s Technology Team and am associated with Organization since Jan'2004, when the strength was 21-22. And back then technology had less business interest. It surely changed with time, and I am glad I was the part of this changing thought.

Kapil and Abhishek were surely the brain behind it, which Ashish is managing nicely now. What we have managed till now is to maintain the same culture and working habits. Each one here is very aggressive when it comes to the task assigned. Everyone of us have fun, We are loud, We crack sick jokes, we laugh at jokes made at each other, take the worst possible meaning of a given statement made by anyone. So in all it’s a fun environ. But when it comes to business each one of us sitting here is damn serious and if someone is not it’s always communicated.

I am mostly seen as very strict when it comes to work, as in I will tear person apart, ask innumerable questions, impatient, harsh, rude and yeah ruthless at times. I will not try to defend any of those, cuz I accept each one of them silently. But with time I have changed and have been smarter to handle things without panic until someone gets into my ass for no reason. I have become more understanding yet strict. What I have learned from Ashish is to keep realistic expectations from people. I know he is also learning, and is there to chill him out and listen to him when he is in a bad mood :).

My team is divided in 2 parts, one is Desktop Client Team. It’s a mixture of young blood and experienced guys. I always used to crib about people not taking responsibilities, and not giving 100 percent but for now I should not complain at all. We are on the verge giving the first release of our product and yeah long way to go still. Each one of us has worked our ass off to reach here. Other team is Web Client; I am real fan of each one of them. These guys are committed, energetic, enthusiastic, hardworking and with raw talent.

People who are close to me do complain that I do spend a lot of time in office and am a workaholic. I accept it, am too aggressive when it comes to work and that’s the contrast of my life. I am waiting for little brightness for sure.

Not so “Special” Day

2007-12-18T08:42:00.000+05:30

18th December, supposed to be my birth date. If I can recollect clearly this was one day I used to be pretty excited about. I guess there is nothing new every kid waits for his/her birthday. With age it was more of a get together of old friends.

In year 2004, in the same week I came to know one of my very close family friends daughter Mona Di had brain stroke. Well I was pretty shocked to hear that cuz she was very strong gal although too many things were happening in her life. Still I thought she will be fine and it’s not that serious. On 17th early morning around 2 AM I was in office (those days I used to work very late) when her sis Gudiya called up, she started weeping and I was scared to death. All she said was “Bhai a jao…” I was like senseless for some time. Bhupesh, Ashish, Sumit and KG were there and suggested to take the morning bus to Hyd and hold myself. I went to Ashish’s place that night and went to station from there. Got the bus reached Hyderabad in evening. Went straight to the hospital, met everyone and came to know it was very serious. It was the toughest time of my life not just cuz I have to control my emotions but have to take care of everyone.

I saw her with every possible medical instruments attached to her and each one making a sound in synch, I slept outside her room and kept on listening that sound until I slept wishing she would get up and would come to me and say… “Wali tum kab aye…” but that never happened…
People started calling up around midnight, there was no fault of theirs to listen me in a sad mood and it was impossible for me to explain each one of them how the situation was… somehow I managed not to lose control of my emotions… I owe a lot to Prabhdeep as he was with me all that time.

Morning came and Aunty, Uncle and her sister everybody started wishing me and I was still not supposed to show anything in front of them… I just went to some place and cried my heart out just to let everything out rather than keeping it within me. By noon time it was mostly delaying the act. In eve, doc explained Uncle that she is not responding at all. By that time everybody had already accepted the fact. Evening 7:30 life support was taken out.

I simply broke when aunty said “I wish this wouldn’t have happened on this day…” I know she is there with me always no matter where she is. I have nothing against the day, but I don’t feel like enjoying on this day at all. It’s not a “Special” day for me at all…

My Maiden Stage Appearance!!!

2007-12-04T15:42:00.000+05:30

Friendship is something everybody cherishes at all ages. When it comes to me I have been really lucky in finding friends and for sure sustaining them except one friend. To begin with, her name was Rohita and we met 23 years back in kindergarten. We were inseparable in luncheon apart from studying together. I preferred her as my best friend when she started to tie my shoe laces and yeah that was very mean of me :)

There was one very special incident that happened on the annual day function of my school in 1985. I don’t know how the idea came in my parents mind, and they proposed my name for the fancy dress. It was finalized that I will be "Indian Groom" but my parents thought of something more innovative and arranged a bride for me. Most obvious choice was Rohita over any other gal of my class considering the bonding we had. That was the first and last time till now I dressed as a groom. It was more exciting as it was first time for both of us... :) I wore corduroy suit with a turban of my sister’s chunni which I am sure my parents had to deal intelligently, my dad completed the attire with his tie and I was done. But the main challenge was to dress up the gal. She was an Andhra'ite and hence didn’t had lehanga or a heavy wedding dress. Again my sister wardrobe was attacked and her new pink lehanga was smoothly taken which was again an impossible task made possible. And gal was ready after light bridal make up.

Everything was set for the show; I clearly remember I was too conscious of my turban cuz it took a long time to drape. So the time arrived and we assembled back stage. We were told that our name shall be announced and we have to do some act at that time. It was mutually decided that we shall exchange garlands on the stage. Cometh the time and we walked on stage with garland in hands, I was dismayed to see huge crowd in front of me and started to find my dad who promised me that he will be there in front of the stage with camera. Announcer started calling names of participants but he erred and didn’t give time for the act, and my dear friend stood waiting that I will start the procedure and she will follow it up. Sadly that never happened. She dint tell me anything but she complained her mom about her disappointment.

I lost touch with her after second grade as we moved to Lucknow from Kanpur but she surely left fond memories of that day. It was not just about my debut on stage, but cuz it was my closest encounter with marriage... :)

My Last Crush!

2007-07-15T15:57:00.000+05:30

Date 13th October'04
Place Bangalore

It was a time when nothing except work was happening in my life. Days were passing like a F1 car that had a mission to complete every lap in record time. My sister was pursuing her PhD in Mumbai and I had heard a lot of TIFR, so thought of visiting her over a weekend. I planned to leave by early morning Volvo at 7:15. After coming home at 10 PM, I just slept after keeping an alarm at 5:30 AM.

Woke up on time, got my stuff and left to Bus Station, I was seeing sunrise after a long time which looked stunning as rays were dissolving in clouds... Weather was just awesome as Bangalore is known for. Nature is one thing that always makes me excited.

I was the first one to enter in bus. It was around 7 when every seat except my next one was empty. I was praying hard that it would be someone interesting. Till 7:10 there was nobody around, bus started to move and all my wishes remained one. To console myself, I thought now I have two seats to make myself more comfortable. I had put my walkman on and closed my eyes... when heard a sudden scream "Stop!!!" I looked out of window and saw my wish coming true... Pretty gal, running with her luggage towards our bus, was trying not to think about my wish. Still some part of my heart wanted to believe she might come and sit next to me. I was more hopeful when she entered the bus. Well she had one hand bag, and some more stuff. I had always wondered why every gal has a handbag although she has tons of luggage, it can be easily kept inside one suitcase. My thought was interrupted by a sweet voice, "Is this seat number 14". I smiled and nodded, and she reciprocated with a cute smile which brought amazing curves on her face. She was wearing white top and blue Lee jeans, Bus conductor distributed water bottle as the long journey began. By the time she adjusted her luggage I had an opportunity to guess her Shampoo and Perfume... I was pretty sure shampoo was Pantene but perfume was confusing, it was a very soft classical fragrance. My walkman was trying hard to attract my attention, still my heart was reluctant to hear. I took out the ear phone, till that time she was sitting comfortably with a Magazine.

I was looking out of window observing nature and gaining energy to initiate the talk. I casually asked her "Lot of luggage... han...” she affirmed and told that she is going home after a long time. It was then we started to mingle. She was doing her Grad from Christ Church, and she belonged to Mumbai, her father was in ONGC and mom a housewife. Well we were so much engrossed in the talk that didn’t see the time at all. It was almost lunch time, I had few biscuits and she had some cakes which we shared. I observe a lot and try to read people’ mind, and as she was so close I had already started my operation. Am into sun-signs as had drank "Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs"... She was a certain Virgo and after knowing that she was kind of surprised.

Well if I describe her in short she was a sweet talkative gal with pretty eyes and sharp features. Her aims were high, and was focused along with that she was pretty close to her family. And when she told me that she is F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fan it brought another level to our conversation. We laughed at some stupidity of Joey and also were sad of Ross and Rachael not getting together. I was observing her long hairs which were now tied after they were dry. She was feeling cold so I gave her my jacket which she gracefully accepted. We had lunch and tea, she slept for some time. I was still thinking what was happening, I never got so close to someone I never knew few hours back. She got up cuz of bad roads and we started our conversation again, she asked “What’s my girl friends name?” I was like "What???" I asked her why she thought I might have one; she said "Every guy has..." I was not able to control my laughter and again asked "If I have none, Am I not a guy?" She was taken aback by that... she said "I didn’t mean that..., ok forget it". I explained her that I don’t believe in girl friend stuff. I am more into making friends. She was not satisfied with the answer but remained silent... I told her about some freaky incidents of my life which made her absolutely thrilled...

I so wanted to hold time but it was behaving in just opposite way, we had dinner and we slept... I was thinking while sleeping that I would surely take her contact number and would try to meet her in Mumbai... I don’t know when I slept but I was awake by long horn of bus which was not ready to stop, I thought we reached Mumbai, but instead found myself in bed and my Alarm ringing in anger. It was hard to believe that I was still in Bangalore and that girl was a dream... What dint change was the fact that I had a crush on her... I packed my bags and sat in auto to get the bus and was just thinking that "Will that dream become reality?"

I have a dream...

2007-04-24T20:36:00.000+05:30

I have a dream to work in a company with people having similar mindset. I know am asking a lot for a place like India, where almost every company’s management just tries to find enough reasons to bill the client for extra work. I wonder how clients still come back to such companies; or rather they don’t have any other choice. Well Indian service based companies work mostly on reactive measures and never on pro-active measures. I keep hearing lot of stories from my friends that the client got crazy over something which will in turn affect in his/her growth in the company.

I know 85% of IT population in India work under services model, where in none of the companies bother about employee's competency and at the end of the day they just have to bill that resource. No matter that resource is for c++, java, .net, and mainframe or for that matter any other technology. Client would be shown the resource is extra efficient in desired technology and for every extra work (CR in technical term) client shall be billed extra. The only difference lies amongst such type of companies’ is in their training programs to at least make them aware of the technology.

I have been working for more than 3 years now. I have learnt a lot in this period, I was lucky enough to be at Careernet to get so much exposure towards the technology, people and the killer instinct. What lacked in Careernet I got from L&T and that was process. All this in conglomeration made a huge difference in me. I feel that am different from other people, not just in thinking but when it comes to see things in totality. I have a huge circle and I interact a lot. I hardly find people who are hard working and seeing things in unison. Everybody look at things in pieces, and every piece has different priority for every individual. A sorry stage comes when an individual believes that he/she is gaining from it which is not the case in actuality. Anyways I cannot be judgmental about the whole scene, let’s leave it to that individual what he/she wants to do.

What I know is am not a Manager, and in next 2 years I dun want to be. Well the problem here is if you are leading a team expectation is more to manage a team. Person like me who has throughout been an individual contributor still end up being the same no matter what the team size is... So the premise is leading a team in Service Industry is entirely different to Product Environ.

A product guy is totally different person all together; I have a senior with whom I interact a lot. He does explain things to me in a serene way; I do smile inside sometimes as he also reciprocates my thinking. Still there are lots of things I learnt from him and am still learning. I dun panic but I feel uneasy in an environ where most people are not seeing the bigger picture. I know things are not easy all the time... and it’s a testing time... We have constraints and mountain to climb... Am brave enough to face any situation alone... Have done in past and will do it once again... I don’t have a magic wand and I don’t need it... I want to learn how to live in worse situations... Let’s see what happens...

Extended Tour-de-Mysore Part II (Personal Life)

2007-03-13T12:25:00.000+05:30

I was in a lorry on Bangalore highway, heading towards Mysore with all my household stuff. Leaving my favorite place and moving to a place where I know none. Was lil scared as I had lil idea of the local language. It was tiresome journey as lorry's speed was irritating me a lot. I did get a call from HR confirming my joining date whom I assured that am on my way. Reached guest house and met Amar, who happened to be the caretaker. He was an excellent cook. Soon my routine got healthy, was having proper meals after 2 years... With juice and all... ;) I gained few kilos straight away.

I hardly took any time to mingle with people in L&T (right kinda people obviously :D ) Well it was after a long time I realized that the people I interacted more were 90% GALS... And that happened when I used to get alien expressions from expressionless faces. For some people it was surprise/agony/topic at tea... It was speculations all around, although it was the first time I was working in a big company but those faces were not totally unfamiliar. I was smart enough to ignore it, and I hardly cared about it, but I would have given it back if somebody would have commented. But good for "some people" they never gave me a chance to tear them apart ;).

I found really tough to find a good house for me, and after shifting to 3 places found one which was good enough. After shifting I struggled for breakfast big time. Then came someone sweet enough to cook breakfast for me... It was Pooja... We used to have it together after reaching office. That’s the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me.

Gradually I started to talk to more people and it was the annual function skit which brought me close to few more. Now our gang was big, and we used to have lunch/Tea together. I did started playing badminton after office hours, which I enjoyed a lot . I also took part in Championships there, that was an experience for sure.

I knew had to leave one day, but that day arrived pretty soon and ended with a bad taste. People were really scared to talk to me cuz I had a big argument with the managers. Some people were behaving as if I had taken revenge for everyone... ;) After this episode I realized how necessary it is to cognize people about the whole situation. I don’t know if that was the smartest thing in the world to do, but yeah I did it. My close people panicked a lot, as they never saw me in that shade... ;) It was all fun though. Anyhow things came to an end, and I had to leave some of my closest people...

I am still in touch with almost all of them... It’s sometime really crazy to think, how life changes in split seconds...

Extended Tour-de-Mysore Part I (Professional Life)

2007-03-07T17:15:00.000+05:30

I still can’t believe that I stayed in Mysore for 9.5 months and now more than 8 months have already passed working in Bangalore again. It’s really strange how time flies away in front of ya.

The biggest change in my life was the working hours, which was pretty bizarre when I used to work in Careernet. Now I had to wake up in 6:30 and then reach office at 8:30.

I was very impressed with my Manager though, he gave me lot of freedom and always welcomed new ideas. I had a very bad impression about service industry and their culture so was lil skeptical about what would I go through. But I really felt at home after talking to my Manager/Lead. My team had amazingly hard working people with sharp technical minds with good domain knowledge. It took time for them to accept me but then later on we had a good working relation. My place was shuffled a bit before I opted to sit next to my PL, I just adored that place. We used to have lot of fun in that cubicle.

My work started with series of conference calls and some presentations. It also included a visit to Bombay which was cool. I was new to ASP.Net so I got some buffer time to get accustomed to the Product and Domain. My project people were really helpful I shall say. I was appreciated a lot cuz of my interpersonal skills. It was soon I found out that was the pain area of L&T, Mysore. 2-3 months passed in no time. I made some genuine friends in gals, with whom my wavelength matched. Had to mention name of Pooja and Shwetha... who were my lifeline and of course Shabana my adorable gal...

I made design/strategy for collating data into our database from some other groups, which involved lot of politics. In lieu of that lot of time got killed, so I also contributed in other areas. And after some time, we made the whole infrastructure for the whole thing and were waiting for the green signal to proceed with further thing.

One fine morning, My PM called me up and asked if I was interested for an on-site. I clearely mentioned that, if the work is fine and includes some challenges am always ready for it. There were two opportunities for Japan and US. I did give a client interview for US project and it went good. My VISA process followed, for which I went to Chennai.

The visit was a memorable one for all the negative reasons; I have a detailed blog on that (Visa Issue). I was not allowed to give the Interview as my name was lil controversial (Wali "OMER" khan). I was disappointed and came back to Mysore. My mood was off more cuz I missed company outing to Mangalore. This was the time when Ashish (Careernet) started to convince me to get back for a new Project. Frankly speaking I was never serious about it until I met LN who was a man that made me believe how exactly technology can be used to solve business problems. I did have other issues which were solved quickly and my extended tour came to an end with mixed emotions.

Together Again!!! ;)

2007-02-15T19:47:00.000+05:30

Well I always loved living alone, and enjoyed it throughout 2.5 yrs. Living with SUGGI (Alias Sudhir ;)) was the most difficult decision of my life... and for sure I loved his company... We mostly have similar taste... :D I won’t go into the details though. We lived together for about 5.5 months when I left to Mysore. I came back in July'06 and since then I was living alone... Did shift to Ravi's place for 2 months before shifting to new 2 bedroom place... This place is near to our new office, where we would be shifting around March first week.

So about this new place... Big hall connecting kitchen with two bedrooms attached... The major attraction is the bath tub which was later discovered out to be very uncomfy... ;) My fav place is the bedroom balcony at night...

And yeah weekend cooking is also an attraction... ;) In all fun place... with Suggi and Anil...

Work in Careernet

2007-02-15T19:28:00.000+05:30

Last 8 months in Careernet had been thrilling, exciting, full of hard work, lot of masti, extra-ordinary learning, miles achieved, and miles yet to achieve...

We started development with a regular SOA and since then the architecture has evolved each day. It’s a great feeling to work on something which no one in world is working. This is the first time I felt the real edge of Domain Expertise. We started with Smart-Client, along with fitting Janus amazing controls. Used another work by MS, Service Proxy/Agent pattern... Level of abstractness went high with each Pattern added... and yeah obviously it’s a need for an extensible product and not a burden. WCF got launched and WWF came into picture, so yet another level of refactoring started... so currently we are adapting and consuming the new services. Work on web-client already began... just hope so everything gets bundled together soon. Waiting to see everything bundled together.

MS has done an amazing job, to make things easier for an end user development. Although there are lot of improvisations yet to be done, but this will be a big leap for Development in MS tech.

Kapil Gupta "Commitment Personified"

2006-10-06T19:13:00.000+05:30

I joined Careernet in Jan'2004, being new to the professional world Careernet was a place where I felt at home along with growing as a person. Although there are quite a few people to name but Kapil Gupta stands on top of the list. I used to hear his name from other colleagues. In a period of 2.5 months I heard so much about him that I was too curious to see how he is really. Some of my colleagues were furious, some were ecstatic, some of them praised, some of them had high regards for him... so in all it was all confusing for me to understand how he was actually.

I was working lone in Technology at that time on the product which was at a stage where no one was there to take it further. People did help me to know the system and guided me further but I was not very satisfied with the things. Bhupesh was one more person who helped a lot in initial days.

In mid year Kapil shifted to Bangalore and I started to work with him closely... Things changed gradually... He had loads of ideas... I just used to listen him long and try to get what all his requirements were, some of them were too demanding, still we both used to sit for long hours and try to find a way. He taught me how to compete with yourself, how to raise the quality of your work.

Kapil is undoubtedly conglomeration of hard work, sincerity, committed, madness, enthusiasm, energy, ambition; killer instinct, confidence... list is endless... I won’t be wrong if I term him as "A Suitable Boy"

Gal I admire the most...

2006-10-06T14:46:00.001+05:30

Well my series of blogs and not mention of this sweet soul is for sure not justified... I met Vanya through a networking site and we became real close friends... we had our share of ups and downs... but we are together and for life time am quite sure... She is someone who is my mirror image I would say... Person who matches my madness in all sense... reacts in the same way as I do... we both share same sort of reflexes as well...

She is a genius who thinks radical, has tremendous potential to excel in every domain. She works like mad sometimes and invariably makes me remember how I used to study in my post grad ;). She is very talented and at the same time very focused... Her hunger for knowledge places her into a very elite category, never misses any chance to prove that she is the best... but still so sedate and kind.

The most beautiful thing about Vanya is she always tries to amend in every aspect... I have seen her grow and improvising on myriad of situations... I have learnt loads from this gal... Am sure this chick is gonna go miles... :).

Bizarre Love Story...

2006-08-30T16:00:00.000+05:30

My world is mostly about friends, people who know me, understand me, love me unconditionally, trust me and some more necessary ingredients. I have been close to quite a few people, and known about myriad of love stories. I have read a lot about love, emotions, psychology of Girls/Guys towards love and some hidden facts/behaviors of Girls/Guys.

By being a listener to all the stories and personally being the spectator of few made me understand people more. I had a notion that people change with time, but that’s wrong people never change, their reaction to things change with time. Their beliefs never change their understanding depth/capacity changes.

I heard a real bizarre Love story and still nothing is conclusive in the story, I just wish and pray it end up well...

A friendly Guy has a strong feeling for a Gal for four years. He expresses his love quite a few times but then resultant was negative. Then one day his life changed lanes, and gal nodded for his love... They came too close but after a rosy phase, things started to change... loads of misunderstandings, fights, arguments... Well that happens in every relation and after some time things does settle down. But in this story, some discussions were really fundamental and which led to no conclusions and whenever those discussions were around things were absurd. Again I would say there are numerous of happy love stories which have weak nerves. So what’s so strange about this story, Well gal knows guy loves her and can’t live without her... Guy doesn’t really know about Gal other than he loves the gal. Gal knows she said yes to him after a long pause... And now she can’t refuse to the guy...

They might get married soon... So I am just keeping my fingers crossed for this relation. I do know that love is something arbitrary without logic making no sense at all... but this is really bizarre...

Big issue with L&T.

2006-08-07T23:12:00.000+05:30

Dissatisfaction with L&T started by my Appraisal in March which was mere mockery of the same. In between I always had weekend visits to Careernet and was in sync with the proceedings there. One weekend, Ashish seriously threw me a question that why don’t i join them back. I was not too comfortable with it, but I did give it a thought.

My work in L&T was pretty smooth, but there were too many managerial hurdles and I was not too happy with the infra structure as well. This led to a long thought. Before this, I haven’t thought about any topic for that long. There were too many things in my mind, for which I had to get answers. I talked to many people and came to some sort of conclusion which I found logical. I resigned from L&T on June 4th. Although they tried a lot to convince me with their rotten ideas, they accepted my resignation and relieved me on the requested date. In last week of June I came to know that my payroll was blocked and I will be penalized for not giving the desired notice. This made me real mad; I had a talk with my Manager... who talked really garbled to me... I ringed my other PM in night who according to my past experiences was kind of methodical and fair. I apprised him about the situation and he after consulting my Delivery Head reacted in a way which made me believe that there is some misunderstanding and that was completely out of the table. Next morning I confirmed with HR and she was being hopelessly adamant with the procedure. I was completely out of tune by this time. I walked into my Delivery Heads room and asked about the whole scenario. He acted very strange and replied that it’s a company policy and he cannot do anything about it. I just asked one simple question to him that was it someone's duty to make me aware of that fact or not, and he replied in negative. This made me really mad still I kept my nerve. I told him that have consulted my lawyers and as I was not intimated about the thing I cant take the proceedings as it’s pretty illogical. After this he started screaming, telling me that Company won’t change according to me... I got really mad and raised my voice and asked him to keep the sanity of his chair. I left his room, and wrote a long mail addressing to Delivery Manager, my PM's, my PL and HR. I also bcc'd to all my friends. I started to leave from office, when My Delivery Manager stopped me and asked what was my plan and what will I do now after that mail... He was too puzzled as he never expected that kind of response from an employee. After a lot of discussion he gave me a proposal to stay in L&T for another 2 months to avoid any penalty... I was so pissed off that I just asked them to give me a certificate of the deducted amount. I did tell my Manager that just for 10K they played filthy gimmick... I completely thrashed, he would definitely remember me for a long time.

I wanted to write loads about the culture of a Big Multinational and myths involved some time back. Guess it deserves a new thread. So now am back to where I belong, feels like got the oxygen back :).

End of "Passport Drama"

2006-08-07T21:43:00.000+05:30

My life has always been little complicated to begin with... I have to struggle at every step. To achieve a small feat, I have to pass through various hurdles. Saying this am not putting a question mark on my LUCK... because what ever has happened till now is all Pretty... and whenever there were negatives in my life... it all actually happened to be reference to POSITIVES... sounds tricky ;0) Not at all though…

March 24th was a sad day for all innocent progressive Muslim guys. During my scheduled US-VISA Interview, I was not allowed to take the interview and instead my passport was withheld for "Administrative Procedure" as my name had "OMER"... After a series of questionnaires finally in June end I received a mail from Consulate intimating that the procedure is over and I can send the documents to continue with the VISA process. But as I had already resigned from L&T, I got my Passport back in first week of July.

Indeed that was a happy day for me to at least be eligible for travels abroad. So this adds to one more interesting episode in my life.

Is India "Shining"?

2006-08-05T20:07:00.000+05:30

This incident happened 2.5 months back in Mysore; I went to Devraj's Road on Sunday evening. I was taking a general stroll and trying to find some books to read. I observed a young kid around 8-9 years of age having a rugged bag on his shoulders and one pack of ear buds in his hands. He was crying while walking and murmuring something to himself. Well I can’t call that kid a beggar, as he never begged to me. I can’t stop myself and asked him what’s the matter... he began to cry loud, and started to tell me that his mother would thrash him tonight as he could not sell anything today... He was so scared of the possible treatment at home that he didn’t even realize that he can ask me to buy it... he was unstoppable, he kept on telling that some days back also he got severe punishment and her mom use hard cane... he showed his calf’s which had many impressions of the brutal act. I stood listening to him seriously... I asked him about his studies, and as anyone would guess that was just a dream. All this time I was expecting that he would come up with a proposal... but in vain his fear overtook his senses actually... So I asked how much will it cost for one pack, he said ten bucks... I got a pack, he was so happy... I was still walking with him, although he was little relaxed still he was silent... I threw one more question to him that how many packs he has to sell in a day... he answered minimum 5 of them... I gave him 50 Bucks... his eyes started to shine... he took out 4 more packs from his bag and wanted to give it to me... I said you can sell that tomorrow... His happiness was at peak...

This whole incident was too bizarre... Although am too particular in not shedding a single penny to beggars but there are situations when I can’t help it at all... Recent news of doctors methodically making a person impaired for begging made me real sad... We talk about “India Shining”, I can’t see the shine at all... it’s all gloomy... Saddest part is we all talk about the Tree, but we forget about roots that are still weak...

Long time no Posts...

2006-08-05T19:08:00.000+05:30

I have been so busy lately that I hardly got time to write... I miss days when I used to write endlessly. Many things happened for the past 2 months. I got my Passport back, then there was a big issue with L&T, Lovely visit to Bombay and then finally am back in Bangalore. I won’t waste this post in writing summary of all the things instead would write individual posts. So watch out people...

Errr from Google

2006-05-25T11:56:00.000+05:30

Well i have been into blogs for sometime, and into RSS feeds as well. I have a gmail personalized home and i added a feed of my blog there, I found out something recently which was awful. I published one of the articles twice by mistake, although i deleted it from blog, its still reflecting in XML feed as a result there are two entries of the same Article when i view it in my website.

Seems like Google has a work in their hands.

Is choosing a "Startup Company" and "Billion Dollar Company" too tough...

2006-05-08T11:26:00.000+05:30

I worked in Careernet Consulting for 1.5 Years, which was a great experience. Have learnt a lot from that place, whether that be transformation of thoughts, being mentally tough, getting technical exposure and many more edging facets of life. Meeting guys like Kapil, Abhishek and Ashish who were constantly challenging the limits I have and making sure I scale up my boundaries. But I knew that was not the place for an IT Developer as it lacked IT environment, Software Processes, Technical resources, and many more things.

Finally after lot of thoughts I left Careernet and joined L&T Infotech. Although I knew they are not good paymasters but if I stay in Mysore I could end up saving a lot in comparison to Bangalore. I was pretty lucky in terms to get peers and Managers. Ram was one person in Company whom I can really count on. He always gave me freedom to work and was always in the process to make me a strong technical prospect for company. Gayathri although being sedate was a true understanding guide for me. But the things that were bugging me were the poor technical planning which was due to absence of technically sound leaders and managers. I didn’t expect much challenge on work front, as that’s the story of Service Industry. But I was lucky to be a part of Product, I did grasp many things, although Quality part was hindrance rather than being a reason to improve in processes and technical approaches. I did had a big episode with my Passport, which I believe was not the fault of L&T but the follow up could have been better.

I continued to be a part of Careernet all this time and they started to miss my presence, its true I was also missing the culture and people. I was more so emotionally attached with that place. I have seen that place growing up in front of my eyes, and I was very happy to be a part of it.

Now that when their own Product is taking a grand leap, they want me back. I have had a look of architecture that is just amazing and I know technically there is no second thought of it being the best in market. People involved at the cream level are best in Industry. Compensation part would be best in Industry. But still there is something why am holding myself back to enter into it. It’s a mixture of many things one of the very serious thing being "how long commitment am ready to give to that place?"

Am planning to marry at the end of next year and I know I have to be at a specific feat. So am in a phase of churning my mind and getting the answer outta it :0).

Pain of Documention in Code Base

2006-05-04T19:02:00.001+05:30

Lately I have been reading lot of Articles and Posts over certain topics. One of them being how can we automate the process of adding a comment in code base. Which i believe is necessary in any Company for maintenance purpose. Was surprised not to get many Queries in forums and Articles. As a matter of fact adding comment or a little documentation will never be appreciated by any core developer. But for quality norms some kind of documentation is really justified for Impact Analysis and it really helps at the time of Knowledge Sharing sessions. I do agree every Developer thinks that he is a CHAMP in remembering every piece of code added by him but that deviates from the reality.

I am right now working on VB.Net and ASP.net and still searching for the best utility in market.

Is America still frightened of Muslim Names?

2006-03-27T19:21:00.000+05:30

I have heard a lot of experiences of Muslims or Indians having beard being questioned in America as if they are one amongst terrorist. But things are different when you have a first hand experience. A similar incident happened with me in US Embassy in Chennai.

Am working in L&T Infotech for more than 6 months now and got an Onsite opportunity. I had a client interview and got selected. I went Chennai to have a Business Visa. Earlier met my travel coordinator and although they scared me a lot like I will be watched by people and have to answer confidently, still I got an impression that their approach was very casual. According to them it was a cakewalk.

I reached Chennai on 23rd night. Chennai has never been a happy hunting ground for me, but still I hoped that things would fall in place this time. My colleague's Interview was at 10 AM, so I dropped him and then I went to Internet cafe. Came to Embassy at 11:15, I had pre-screening in which I came to know that many fields were blank in the form and were supposed to be filled, also found out that there is a column where I have to write my name in native language. I asked the lady who was posing herself as a lady cop only the cap was missing... ;0) She asked me to write in URDU. So I completed the form and got my doc's checked. I joined the line, which was quite long and was hardly moving. In between I could hear people calling IBM employees to rush to counter 4, I was wandering why the special treatment was giving to them, but couldn’t get the answer.

Finally I entered the VISA office after standing for 3 hours. I do came to know that Indian people act dumb sometimes. I was just hearing questions sitting in queue like "How many children you have?”, "How many people came to your marriage?" and some more. I was just thinking of what all questions I will have to answer, at this time I already knew that my Colleague dint get the VISA cuz officer was not convinced with his answers.

My turn came to take the fingerprints at counter no 13; the lady was just looking at the confidence level of the person. She dint enquire about anything, just asked me to pay the fees and continue with the proceedings. I went to counter no. 1 to pay the fees which was about 50m away. Suddenly I heard my name getting announced by that lady. I went back and politely enquired about the matter, she told there are some extra administrative proceedings to be done and they took my Passport and I was not allowed to take the Intervview. This happened so quickly that I was not getting why that happened. While coming back to Hotel, I was thinking of all kind of possibilities and suddenly it strike to me that my name has "OMER" which is a lil controversial.

I was really disappointed cuz I could do nothing for that. I told my friends and everyone got upset over the issue. My mom got freaked out, saying "Beta Passport wapas denge na..." Well that’s typical Indian Mom... but anyone would get worried. My Project Manager got real upset after hearing that cuz he dint expect that coming. He asked me to meet a lady in Chennai Office and intimate her what all had happened. I met that lady and she did tell that there had been one off cases lately and nothing to worry about, they will send a questionnaire and have to send it back.

After this incident I had thought a lot, why innocent Muslims had to face these embarrassing situations. The person with whom they are so terrorized is succeeding by all these stupid acts. Americans are so insecure and terrified by one person that they fail to understand a simple fact that a person wont use his actual name while doing any illegal activity. But still it’s outside the scope of our Company or our Country to question that. It’s very unfortunate for poor hard working innocent Muslim guys who have nothing to do with all this but have to be at the receiving end. I hope a day will come when a person wont get judged by some stupid guy from a community spreading terror and doing nothing but just harming the credentials of a community.

Choosing between Love and Folks...

2006-02-24T15:19:00.000+05:30

It might be too rosy when you are in love, you might feel that there would be no hitch to have your love. Sometimes you tend to ignore the important facets of life. These might be different in every case... but the bottom line is "We have to please the society...” Society is a very generic and collective term and sometimes we are also part of it. Society is something that spreads hatred when we are doing well, they vanish when we are in trouble, and they hurt even more when we are sad.

For a young blood taking decisions to satisfy society or certain sections of crowd will sound crap and me being 26 will also say CRAP to it. But considering a fact that our folks live in the same society for more than 50 years are already absorbed in the system and in this phase of life they just want to live a simplified life. Their thoughts and apprehension cannot be disqualified but can be answered to a certain extent if they are open for a dialogue.

Question to the young generation is do they have so much confidence on themselves and their relation that they can convince their folks or go against their wishes, even though they are convinced with the kind of up bringing they have been given was the best one could get. Apart from this decision they have agreed to whatever they have been asked to do by their folks. But this decision will affect their whole life, and they at this age are liberated and eloquent enough and probably seen more world than their parents but still unaware of practicalities which they will face in their later life...

They don’t abide by religion and caste blindly they think scientifically and question it, which might sound atheism to older generation and they often don’t have any answers to those question. The only thing they have to offer is that they have done it this way and we have to do the same way. Which is not a convincing answer.

Question "who would be the ideal winner between the emotional attachment with folks and their Love... " Remains unanswered although people do get married against their folks and live happily.

Is Religion a Paradox?

2006-01-26T16:50:00.000+05:30

In today’s world, majority of people follow any Religion or Philosophy because of their birth. In other words it can be put up as they received by their ancestors rather than choosing after thinking scientifically and practically.

People do practice their religion or in other words they follow what Religious leaders tell. Today scenario is not many people know the core things of their religion still they abide by their Religion with utmost sincerity and tenacity and can sometimes even give their life for the same.

Every religion teaches Peace, Harmony, Love... None spreads violence, hatred, or disrespect towards other religion... Technically a Religion teaches several things like

What are the duties in life?
How to overcome the suffering?
How to be strong?
Who is the creator of life?
What are prayers, and its use?
Who is GOD, why is he important, even there is no physical evidence of his existence?

And many more...

Truth remains the same, which is widely accepted that there is a supreme creator of this world who has control of our deeds in this life and after our life. Still there is a huge differentiation between human being on their religion and their caste...

What’s more ridiculous is when there is bloodshed around whole world in the name of religion. This is where some more questions come into mind, like...

Is religion a myth?
Is religion a deception?
Is religion just an illusion?

And many more...

Religion came into existence to follow one common code of conduct, which gradually was changed by some selfish religious leaders. A time has come when we should negate all the efforts of those people and bring back serenity in our beautiful world.

Love

2005-10-06T16:53:00.000+05:30

Interestingly enough word "LOVE" comes in everyone’s life... and everyone feel this emotion... but everyone has different notions about it... some feel it hurts, some are restless, some are happy, some are sad, some are satisfied, some are not, others are ecstatic... so its a long list of feelings... Still no body has come up with a concrete definition of LOVE...

Love is a common emotion, which is for other person... this feeling changes in intensity and certain other characteristics are added and removed for flavor... There are many other emotions, which are wrongly taken as love... like Obsession, Lust, Sympathy, Attraction etc.In a very short span of time I have known many people and experienced different ways of expressing their emotions. The expression may be different but the meaning always remains the same... I have received enormous amount of LOVE from my family, my friends and my colleagues.

Well love is a constant emotion when it is for family or for a friend, but when it comes for a someone SPECIAL everything changes... the meaning, the intensity, the care, the warmth, the need, expectations, possessiveness... etc. What I have known from my past life and my close one's experiences I feel LOVE is mostly mistaken... and that’s where the experience of love changes with every individual... just because of mere wrong interpretation of a feeling or not reacting to the situations in a practical way leads to a broken relation...

LOVE starts with an attraction it might be physical, might be because of interesting character, or because of name & fame... depend on individual’s preference. This phase doesn’t stay for a long time; because in this phase the eagerness to know about a person grows. After a person knows the other one and he/she accepts as his/her friend a long journey starts. This is friendship phase, a long phase... where you get to know more about a person, his/her nature, family, likes/dislikes, reactions towards things and many more things... although this only depends on how much time both of them spend with each other. The more they stay with each other, early they will get to know bout each other. If both person are coming into a conclusion that the other person will be good for him/her... they start thinking beyond friendship... and this is where the transition takes place... with this phase many problems arrive which most of the time cause fights and arguments... if dealt practically a very enjoyable phase... having fight and then making up... is all together a different experience... In this phase all that a other person demands for is attention and if he/she is not feeling that whatever he/she is getting is not what he/she demands for... dissatisfaction comes... but things stabilize fast if dealt with practicality... There are various issues which comes up in this phase like... not getting optimum time/attention for other person, losing interest of one person, not sharing things with each other, some other person coming in between them more than ten times a day... ( ;-) ), clash of ideas, difference of opinion, many more. After a stabilize phase i guess both the person start knowing each other really well... and can respond to each others demands... and if every problem they have faced in past is solved sensibly and with mutual co-operation, a bigger journey MARRIAGE will always be fruitful.

My Thoughts and ideas... 'CRYSTAL'

2005-09-26T18:11:00.000+05:30

Well to begin with I was a very slow starter, ignorant, having very poor concentration, not at all hard working. In my younger days I was so much compared to my sister who was exact opposite of me... very smart, hard working and clever too... I was not dull but never really took studies seriously. My teachers used to compare me with my sister a lot. My sister was called very often to my class and was complained of things. Looking back I wasn’t that bad at that stage may be average, but my sister is a genius. She worked hard and cleverly planned things and I was nowhere near her. I was ignorant at that stage. What I feel now is I was never motivated enough to perform, saying this I am not taking away anything from my teachers or my folks... they were all great, I guess was a real BRAT at that time... ;-)

But things considerably changed when I was in my High School... I wanted to do good... but guess it was little late for an immediate result... I did started to change from that point of time, but still the early damage was already done. I joined BSc and "A" level (DOEACC) and really worked hard at that time... joined MCA... gave my life to it... came to Bangalore... things were not going well on personal front but still never got myself affected by that... That particular period of time made me a real strong individual... now i know what I have to do, what not to do, i try and not get affected by the environment around me... Being more and more adaptable to various conditions/situations.

In all this time, all I have learnt at every step of life... Life makes you learn all the time and if you are clever enough to get all those signals then you are the winner otherwise you are losing at that moment...

There is a key if someone is not able to achieve a goal that never means his/her path towards the goal is wrong... may be its not the perfect path... so intelligent people learn from each path they are cruising towards their goal... and when they are choosing path next, time taken is less and more concrete...

In end hats off to Kapil Gupta my ideal person making me understand that "Every way which is not leading towards BOTTOM LINE is a wrong way..." He and Abhishek Goyal made me a real strong guy made me aware where I lack and where I am strong... I am still striving hard to improve on all fronts...

A big positive change have seen in myself is what i want to do and how to do is pretty much clear to me... and I am always working towards that. So my ideas and thoughts are like CRYSTAL now...

"LIFE" is Recursive

2005-09-23T16:01:00.000+05:30

I have been studying and thinking for quite a while now that patterns of Life is self repeating and that too in high volumes... and sometimes seems like getting complicated in each loop but at the end equation is solved with a positive/negative result...

Life is changing, changing for better but one has to accept that its going in a better way a positive way... it all depends on perspective... a person can see the world as he wants to be seen just by changing the view, reference point or the perspective... Once in life person will feel an "incident" happened was the worst thing happened in his/her life... after some time he/she comes to know that it was the best thing that could ever happen in his/her life... just by accepting things and taking things in a positive stride...

Losing something is never a pain... its a phase when something/someone is going far from a person and he/she has no control over it which affects a person... then its trouble... something/someone being in life and not in life is a bit pattern ( in 0's and 1's) either its there or its not there... but when 0 -> (tends to) 1 (HAPPINESS) as you are adding something to your life... and vice versa... everything subsides with time... its here the change, transition takes place... which is a critical phase... All depends how the transition affects a system... System is a machine (Human Body) an intelligent system... which can react, has emotions, sending and recieving millions of signals in one second...

Moral of the story change your life by having a positive perspective and make the recursive loop as positive as you can... and the result will be exponentially positive.

Relationships with People...

2005-08-18T23:51:00.004+05:30

I am a jovial person by nature, but very serious in certain matters. Whatever i feel today or have certain perspective in life is just because of my parents who gave me such rich values and principles to cherish life long.

I am usually friendly with people, but i have a problem... if once i feel person is taking me forgranted... i just stop feeling anything for that person... its like i dont know that person after that... i wont call that person... wont mail... i will just leave that person forever... some people do get annoyed for that... but thats their LUCK!!! [:D]

Relationships with guys are cool... The crazy group we had in CMS, Randhir, Mohit, Prabhdeep, Ankit... life just ROCKED!!! After coming to Bangalore... People like Sumit, Kapil, Ashish, Sudhir... made life so easy for me. We always have a blast in Office, i am quite sure the aura and energy we share here cannot be find elsewhere...

What i feel is thinking or meaning of life changes as the whole perspective of life changes with time. My ideology is strengthened having met more people and tackled more situations alone.

It has been my pleasure to have known some Gals too. According to my past experiences two GALS cannot be very good friends... with good friends i would say like that they share each and everything and still nothing gets messed up... there will be very rare possibility that one can find that...

There are certain characteristics that can be found in each GAL... Its very tough to explain a THING to a GAL, most of the times it will be taken in exact opposite THING to what you mean... (Hahaha... well i mean no offence to anyone... but that happens...) Sometimes mood of a GAL depends a lot on what she interprets out of YOU... There is a mood when you try hard to explain things but everything you say goes against you... I guess its enough about them... If someone would happen to read this... i will be in trouble.

Mentation

2005-07-07T13:00:00.000+05:30

I am a straightforward, simple and hard working person, in short a Saggi Guy. Thoughts, Perception and analysing capabilities changes with time but the nature and roots never change. Well i became aggressive and hard working with time. Sometimes i feel i am a very easy guy who can adapt to any situations and sometimes otherwise. Sometimes I hate a person for strange reasons like "His/Her voice is annoying" or "Person laugh is irritating"... i accept these reasons may sound weird but yeah it happens with most people. When you meet a person you tend to get vibes and that might be positive or negative, this is something which sets the tone for future relation with a person.

I am a friendly cheerful guy, having loads of friends, although i am in constantly touch with only few. I am a very committed guy whether that be work or any relation. I work on priorities, and i always expect people to understand that and close people not only understand they respect it a lot as well. I need not to say thats why they are close. I can forgive a person once or twice but not always... there is a saturation point and after that i am short of feeling for that person. I hardly get physical... umm i cant remember really... ;-) good news for people who annoy me.

My Family means a lot to me, they were always there when i needed them. I would owe everything that i have done in my life to them.

Life in Bangalore

2005-06-26T16:55:00.000+05:30

Since the day i have come to Bangalore many things happened some were fun some were not but i enjoyed every moment of my stay over here... Climate is one of the best one could ever dream of... although its a pathetic place when it rains like hell. I made many friends here and some of them made my life so easy that i never came to know that i dont have my family and childhood friends with me. One of them is a very close friend and i know her for almost a year now, she will be posted in TCS, Bombay.

I did have a taste to chat in earlier days... although i dont do it now... i do try and be in touch with most of my friends... Kathy has been one of my oldest friend and she will be there forever i know that :)... there are some my old friends Abhishek, Vikram, Aastha, Prabhdeep, Kshitija... well the list is a lot... i know most of them are mad at me cuz i m busy all the time ;-)... but damn i cant help it... i am busy all the time...

My Past LIfe!

2005-06-26T16:08:00.001+05:30

My young days were in Lucknow which i miss a lot now in Bangalore although i dont miss the climate as its heaven here :D. I did my Graduation from Lucknow University which was an experience for sure, had 3-4 friends but i guess Abhinav was the only one in which i could find a person with GRAVITY. He is hard working, with a strange sense of humour and unmatched in absent mindedness... Well some close people around me called him "Sleeping Beauty"... nevertheless he is a fine guy... at least one can talk with him and can get involve in a productive conversation.

I finished my Graduation and "A" Level from UPTEC, then i joined MCA in BBDNITM, which was an experience of life time. I learnt many things, met different kind of people.

I came to Bangalore in Jan 2004, joined CareerNet and life was fine. Have seen things changing here in leaps and bounds, people like Abhishek, Kapil, Ashish along with Rishi and Anshu have been the idol for me to work hard and more hard to achieve goals.

About Me!

2005-06-23T13:29:00.000+05:30

I am 25 year old guy having pretty normal characteristics in all respects :P. HUMOUR is a major part of my life. Sports is something I follow although the extreme things I did in my early days are on a break, like bunking school for cricket matches, waking up in the middle of the night to watch crucial India Australia matches or that can be playing cricket for hours in ground. Umm my folks would be better to get in with few more instances... :)

I have serious liking for all outdoor games Lawn Tennis, Cricket, Basket Ball, Soccer etc. I used to write reports of every match, follow the players stats after every games.

You can call me a MUSIC freak as well... i hear both kinda music ROCK and romantic depending on my MOOD. I am not a moody person though... but cant stand certain things in a person first being bad voice, its just a negative vibe nothing more in that.

I am often being termed as a cleanliness freak, although i try to tame it but yeah thats me and just cuz of my mom...

18th June, First Blog

2005-06-18T14:31:00.000+05:30

I have been thinking for quite some time to share my views and write things about me... and let the world know about me... well by world i meant MY FRIENDS :P... cuz they mean WORLD to me. I am in office right now... working Saturdays sucks... but yeah work is food for me... damn am i influenced by Mr. William Shakespeare. Anyway will get back to work now... get back with more stuff...