Saturday, December 22, 2007

My Contrasting life!

If I judge myself in personal and professional life, am the exact opposite. I cant say when it turned out to be this way. When it comes to my personal life, I have been very understanding, accommodating, loving, caring, soft spoken, patient, adjusting Etc. with controlled aggression but less expectations. This is somehow not the case when I step in my office.

My personal life has faced lot of hurdles still I have no complaints, it has come out neat. May be I m not too demanding I guess. In such a short time I have experienced a lot of things, met lot of people and came close to many of them. At this young age, I have seen a lot of life and am happy about all. Have committed a lot of mistakes but in my defense, none of them looked to be.

After so many things happening, I am a lot circumspect about getting close to anyone. My life gets very complicated at times but now the difference is I face everything with a big smile. I was never short of good company but they went away as they came. Have stopped thinking about my future personal life, cuz I dun have much expectation from the same. I am taking it as it comes.

Talking about my professional life, am one of the flag bearers of my Organizations fading culture I would say. I work with a Recruitment Organization’s Technology Team and am associated with Organization since Jan'2004, when the strength was 21-22. And back then technology had less business interest. It surely changed with time, and I am glad I was the part of this changing thought.

Kapil and Abhishek were surely the brain behind it, which Ashish is managing nicely now. What we have managed till now is to maintain the same culture and working habits. Each one here is very aggressive when it comes to the task assigned. Everyone of us have fun, We are loud, We crack sick jokes, we laugh at jokes made at each other, take the worst possible meaning of a given statement made by anyone. So in all it’s a fun environ. But when it comes to business each one of us sitting here is damn serious and if someone is not it’s always communicated.

I am mostly seen as very strict when it comes to work, as in I will tear person apart, ask innumerable questions, impatient, harsh, rude and yeah ruthless at times. I will not try to defend any of those, cuz I accept each one of them silently. But with time I have changed and have been smarter to handle things without panic until someone gets into my ass for no reason. I have become more understanding yet strict. What I have learned from Ashish is to keep realistic expectations from people. I know he is also learning, and is there to chill him out and listen to him when he is in a bad mood :).

My team is divided in 2 parts, one is Desktop Client Team. It’s a mixture of young blood and experienced guys. I always used to crib about people not taking responsibilities, and not giving 100 percent but for now I should not complain at all. We are on the verge giving the first release of our product and yeah long way to go still. Each one of us has worked our ass off to reach here. Other team is Web Client; I am real fan of each one of them. These guys are committed, energetic, enthusiastic, hardworking and with raw talent.

People who are close to me do complain that I do spend a lot of time in office and am a workaholic. I accept it, am too aggressive when it comes to work and that’s the contrast of my life. I am waiting for little brightness for sure.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Not so “Special” Day

18th December, supposed to be my birth date. If I can recollect clearly this was one day I used to be pretty excited about. I guess there is nothing new every kid waits for his/her birthday. With age it was more of a get together of old friends.

In year 2004, in the same week I came to know one of my very close family friends daughter Mona Di had brain stroke. Well I was pretty shocked to hear that cuz she was very strong gal although too many things were happening in her life. Still I thought she will be fine and it’s not that serious. On 17th early morning around 2 AM I was in office (those days I used to work very late) when her sis Gudiya called up, she started weeping and I was scared to death. All she said was “Bhai a jao…” I was like senseless for some time. Bhupesh, Ashish, Sumit and KG were there and suggested to take the morning bus to Hyd and hold myself. I went to Ashish’s place that night and went to station from there. Got the bus reached Hyderabad in evening. Went straight to the hospital, met everyone and came to know it was very serious. It was the toughest time of my life not just cuz I have to control my emotions but have to take care of everyone.
I saw her with every possible medical instruments attached to her and each one making a sound in synch, I slept outside her room and kept on listening that sound until I slept wishing she would get up and would come to me and say… “Wali tum kab aye…” but that never happened…
People started calling up around midnight, there was no fault of theirs to listen me in a sad mood and it was impossible for me to explain each one of them how the situation was… somehow I managed not to lose control of my emotions… I owe a lot to Prabhdeep as he was with me all that time.
Morning came and Aunty, Uncle and her sister everybody started wishing me and I was still not supposed to show anything in front of them… I just went to some place and cried my heart out just to let everything out rather than keeping it within me. By noon time it was mostly delaying the act. In eve, doc explained Uncle that she is not responding at all. By that time everybody had already accepted the fact. Evening 7:30 life support was taken out.
I simply broke when aunty said “I wish this wouldn’t have happened on this day…” I know she is there with me always no matter where she is. I have nothing against the day, but I don’t feel like enjoying on this day at all. It’s not a “Special” day for me at all…

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

My Maiden Stage Appearance!!!

Friendship is something everybody cherishes at all ages. When it comes to me I have been really lucky in finding friends and for sure sustaining them except one friend. To begin with, her name was Rohita and we met 23 years back in kindergarten. We were inseparable in luncheon apart from studying together. I preferred her as my best friend when she started to tie my shoe laces and yeah that was very mean of me :)

There was one very special incident that happened on the annual day function of my school in 1985. I don’t know how the idea came in my parents mind, and they proposed my name for the fancy dress. It was finalized that I will be "Indian Groom" but my parents thought of something more innovative and arranged a bride for me. Most obvious choice was Rohita over any other gal of my class considering the bonding we had. That was the first and last time till now I dressed as a groom. It was more exciting as it was first time for both of us... :) I wore corduroy suit with a turban of my sister’s chunni which I am sure my parents had to deal intelligently, my dad completed the attire with his tie and I was done. But the main challenge was to dress up the gal. She was an Andhra'ite and hence didn’t had lehanga or a heavy wedding dress. Again my sister wardrobe was attacked and her new pink lehanga was smoothly taken which was again an impossible task made possible. And gal was ready after light bridal make up.

Everything was set for the show; I clearly remember I was too conscious of my turban cuz it took a long time to drape. So the time arrived and we assembled back stage. We were told that our name shall be announced and we have to do some act at that time. It was mutually decided that we shall exchange garlands on the stage. Cometh the time and we walked on stage with garland in hands, I was dismayed to see huge crowd in front of me and started to find my dad who promised me that he will be there in front of the stage with camera. Announcer started calling names of participants but he erred and didn’t give time for the act, and my dear friend stood waiting that I will start the procedure and she will follow it up. Sadly that never happened. She dint tell me anything but she complained her mom about her disappointment.

I lost touch with her after second grade as we moved to Lucknow from Kanpur but she surely left fond memories of that day. It was not just about my debut on stage, but cuz it was my closest encounter with marriage... :)